Dreamer
by Yavi
Summary: Sora tries to figure out his feelings. Roxas searches desperatly for Axel.Set after KH2. Shonen Ai. AxelXRoxas, SoraXRiku. Various other pairings possibly.
1. Chapter One

**A/N: **Forgive me for the terrible summary. I haven't quite figured out the art of summarizing. Give me time. -.-  
Well, I hope you enjoy the story. I must ask that you don't flame. Construtive critism is welcomed though.

****

**Chapter One**

"_Sora"_

Without any warning, he was pulled out of his dreams. Something involving a boy with red hair. Who was he? Where had he seen him? The details trickled out of his mind as fast as they had come, along with the desperate feeling the dream had left him with. He knew that if he tried, he would remember who he was, and why his face had reappeared in his dreams. That would come later though. He had to focus on the present. Maybe, if he were lucky, he could drift back to sleep and ignore whoever had woken him.

Unfortunately, all his senses had also been woken up. He could smell the salty sea air. Feel the grains of sand on his bare back. There were other sounds near him as well. His own faint breathing, the breathing of the one who woke him, a calming rocking motion of the ocean, birds. Was he on a beach?

Yes. He was sure of it. If he opened his eyes, he would see the picture that his senses and memory had formed in his mind for real. This wasn't a dream world. It was reality.

A reality he wasn't going to go back to either. Not right now. Not if someone was trying to wake him.

It could be important, he reasoned, his eyes still closed.

Fatigue called to him. All he wanted was even 10 more minutes of sleep. Was that so much to ask? He just wanted to sleep, the warmth of the sun wrapping around him like a blanket.

Which reminded him, was he going to get a sunburn if he kept laying here?

"_Sora"_

Stubbornly, he kept both eyes firmly closed, his breath even and shallow. Asleep. Exactly what he would still be doing if someone wasn't trying to wake him. Whoever is was could come back later.

Dimly, using sleepy logical he tried to pin point the voice. His name had been whispered in his right ear. It had a silky, loving edge to is. He's heard it a million times before. He knew he had. He also knew he was going to look like an idiot when he remembered.

"_Wake up! You're going to get burned if you stay out here"_

A heavy sigh. Sand crunched by his ear. Someone was standing up.

"_I'm only doing this because I love you. Remember that."_

Footsteps stepping away. Silence.

Sora opened one eye, yawning a little as he did so. A little ways ahead of him he could see a slim, built figure with a head up shaggy white hair. He needed a little bit of a haircut. All the same however, even from this distance he could tell he was good looking. _Very_ good looking.

'Ah', Sora thought sheepishly,' Riku'. Who else would have such a nice rear view?

A small, guilty smile slipped across his face at that though. . He snapped his eye shut as Riku turned around and began to walk back toward Sora, holding his hands behind him, as if to shelter something from his view.

"Okay. So I lied. I'm doing this because I know you're awake. You can't fool me."

Sora gasped, his voice reaching a new octave as a bucket of freezing cold ocean water hit his naked back. He bolted upright, the muscles of his torso tightening from the sudden temperature change. A second later, a wave of relief hit him as the water began to soothe the beginnings of his sunburn.

"Riku! You... Couldn't you wake me up like a normal person?"

Grinning, Riku offered his had to the sandy haired boy, helping his up. The second he was able to balance, he tackled him with a hug, throwing them both to the ground. Pinning Sora to the sand, Riku smirked attractively.

Sora's cheeks burned crimson as the taller boys shirt brushed his bare skin. Why did he have to be so attractive? Why? His lips screamed 'kiss me!', but it was one call Sora couldn't answer. You just don't kiss your best friend. Especially when he was a guy. It just didn't happen.

"Get off me" Sora acted offended to hide his thoughts, painfully aware that one would have to be blind not to notice the blush on his cheeks. "You're blocking the view."

Riku considered this for a second, then he spoke softly, almost purring.

"But you almost look half decent from this angle. You wouldn't want to ruin _my_ view, would you?"

Sora squinted up at him in disbelief. He was flirting. With him! In all honesty, a small part of him had always wanted to believe that Riku returned the feeling. Maybe it wasn't just the result of an over-active imagination. After all, this wasn't the first occasion Riku had openly told him he enjoyed his looks. Even if it was in his signature sarcastic manner. It didn't matter what Riku said. You could always tell how he was really feeling from the look in his eyes.

And Sora couldn't deny he liked that look in his eyes right now.

Time to do something, time to make a move. Should he kiss him? Right here on this beach, with the Destiny Island as their only witness? That would be romantic... memorable. Just like his dreams. It would be the kind of moment that suck in his memory no matter how old and senile he got.

No. He shouldn't. He really shouldn't. After all, his feeling were probably just respect for his friend. He had always viewed him as the stronger, more stable of the duo. Yeah, it was just respect. Friendly love.

Still... his lips _were_ inviting.

To late.

Riku sighed and rolled off, pulling himself into a cross-legged sitting position. The bright daffodil sun shining directly at his back, cause his tanned face to be thrown into shadow.

"Well? Are you just going to lay there and go back to sleep?"

'What do you think?" Sora asked, " You're the one who threw a bucket of water, which was freezing, I might add, at me. Do you really think I would go back to sleep after you so obviously put in all that effort just to see me awake?"

Still yawning slightly, Sora sat up as well, stretching his legs out lazily. Without realising it, he tried to sit as close as humanly possible without actually touching the other boy. Better to be a tease. Or something like that.

"Actually, Kairi wanted me to get you. I would have totally forgotten about you, but she's scared you'll burn, or that you're hungry. Here, you have sand in your hair. Let me get it for you."

He leaned over, his right hand gently brushing that small grains of rock from Sora's hair. An instant later, Riku's lips were at his ear, forming whispered, challenging words. The soft breathing pattern of the words prickled his skin, sending pleasant shivers down Sora's spin. Riku's hand still lay in his hair, absently running his fingers through it. As though he had forgotten about it.

"Want to race? The score's 3-2 for me. Are you going to take that?"

Sora reached up, grabbing his hand, removing it from his hair reluctantly, holding it for an instant to long before releasing it.

"You're on, you pervert."

He jumped to his feet a second before Riku. Sand sprayed behind him as he got his footing, sprinting towards the surreal green trees in front of him. He was aware of Riku right behind him, gathering enough stamina to outrun him. Their strides were even as they came to the midway point of the beach. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Riku now, still straining, determined to beat him once more. It was truly amazing how even matched the two boys, although previously extremely different in ability and build, had become after returning to Destiny Island.

Predictably ,Riku, with the advantage of his lean, toned body, was still the faster of the two. A point he proved by gaining a step in front of his opponent. Then another. Then another. Several more as they rounded the corner, headed for the cabin just ahead. By this point his had gained almost a remarkable amount on Sora. It didn't look like this would be one of their usual neck-to-neck races. The winner, at this point, would be Riku by a landslide.

'Dammit, he'll win again!' Sora groaned inwardly. Just as quickly as that thought came, he became hypnotised by the swaying motion of Riku's long, silver hair. It was almost like it danced in time to his footsteps. The sun hit it in such a way that every strand seemed to come to life. It was truly, honestly, perfection. More beautiful then any painting.

To bad he was going to miss seeing it if he wanted to win. Which he did. This was a matter of pride, of bragging rights.

His legs pumping hard, sweat forming on his body, he thought. Not of the race at hand. He always had found it easier to run fast if he removed himself from the situation at hand. When he focused to much on winning, he always lost.

Shoving the race in to the back of his mind, his thoughts drifted back to the interrupted dream he had been having. Mentally, he took a check of what he remembered. A guy with red hair wearing a floor length black hooded coat.. He was leaning against a wall, his arms crossed. His lips were moving, as if he were forming the words "I would miss you". Obviously, he was talking to someone. But who? The only person he had seen was the tall fire-headed boy. It was as if it were a memory.

Could it be one of his memories?

No.

He recognised him. He knew he did. Knew he had seen the boy recently. It wasn't as if he was a made up character, a figment of his imagination. It just made no sense. The guy he was thinking of, the only one who resembled the one of his dreams was dead. The reality of is was that the _only_ memory he had of him was him fading away, quite literally in every sense of the expression, after he had saved Sora's life.

And yet he kept dreaming of him doing other things. Laughing at a joke, smiling warmly, his eyes reflecting his emotions like a still pond. Activities that he could have easily done while he was still alive. There was something to these dreams, however. They weren't just pictures. They weren't just filmstrips of a movie, moving by without cause any emotion or feeling to be left behind. Every time he saw that same gentle face, there was something else there. An emotion so strong it threatened to engulf him even after the dream ended. It carried on in to the next dream, in to waking hours. A heavy feeling of sadness and confusion.

So, while it would make sense to be dreaming of someone who had sacrificed himself for him, why these particular dreams? Dreams that were always different from any side of this boy then he had ever seen. Why could he always only see him, and no one else? Why, when there was clearly always someone else with him? Why did he always want to cry when he thought of him? Even now, the wind blowing through his hair, his body exerting itself with the strain of running, a part of him wanted to crumple to the ground in tears.

It wasn't even over dramatic to state that. He knew if he mentioned it to Riku or Kairi, they would have a lot to say about it, that they would both have kind words, advice, and their own theories to his dreams. He wasn't dumb enough not to sense that they noticed he always looked a little lost since returning home. Kairi had pointed it out only the other day. Pointed out, with a worried tone, how his eyes always seemed far away, like he was focused on a distant horizon that only he could see.

The dreams were at the route of it. It didn't take a rocket scientist to grasp that. It was understandable that he might be a little upset over the experiences of his recent life. But... his dreams weren't about that. They were about _him. _Someone he had barely known, and yet, had recognised him even when they first met.

Sora drew level with Riku, slightly surprised as he came back to reality for a second. Riku mirrored his surprise, a shocked, playful grin reaching up to his eyes.

"Hey, nice. You might actually beat me this time!"

His silver hair, his beautiful silver hair, whipped across his face, messy and dishelved. He was still laughing. Expecting his best friend to have a witty retort.

Sora wasn't listening though. For in the same moment he pulled ahead of Riku, the realisation hit him.

These weren't just random dreams pulled out of nothing.

They _were _memories. They just didn't belong to him.


	2. Chapter Two

**A/N:**** It's nice not to have writers block. This is that fastest I've ever written anything in...ever. . Anyway, thanks to all who read it. 3****  
**

**Chapter Two**

The air was beginning to cool. Soon the sun would fall beneath the horizon, it's light being overpowered by the moon and stars. Somewhere down the bank, away from the shack, a lone cricket had began to chirp. Soon it would be joined by others. For now, it was just that one.

To Riku, who had recently once again begun to consider life enjoyable, especially the simple things, found the cricket annoying. He didn't care if it liked the sound of it's own voice. He would give up anything, except the one he loved, for it to just _shut up_ so he could think. Even if it had had a friend, it would have been less aggravating. He could tune out a choir of crickets because he was used to them. The steady, lone chirp of that single bug however, was an entirely different story.

He sat on the roof of the shack, both feet dangling off of the edge. His arms stretched out behind him, easily supporting his weight. For here he could see much of the island. Usually, he only came up here to admire the beauty, and the memories that sitting here brought back. Once, a long time ago, Sora had dragged a reluctant Riku up to the rooftop at the crack of dawn, begging him to watch the sun rise with him. Even then, the feel of Sora's hand in his had sent shivers through his body. He just hadn't understood why at the time. He had been to young for love then. To young to recognize the messages his body sent him whenever Sora was near. All he knew was that he cared about Sora. Cared about him so much that it broke him just to imagine life without him. It had, in a sense, been love at first sight. He was just to young to recognize it for what it really was then.

In the past, he had hid it well. Disguising his feelings with a mask of other emotions. Emotions he supposedly felt for Kairi. He even tried to believe it himself for awhile. It didn't work. Not even for a second. While he cared for Kairi, his love for her didn't even come close to his love for Sora. Sora was special. There was no one else in all the worlds that could compare to him.

All that had changed when Sora had finally found him. When he had been brought to tears, just from the knowledge that he had finally, _finally_ found Riku. It hadn't matter to Sora what Riku had become. It wasn't important to him how Riku had looked, or what he had given up to become what he had. All that mattered was that he had found him. All that mattered to Riku was that Sora needed him just as much as he needed him. Sora had spent forever searching for Riku.

After that, Riku couldn't even pretend to deny it. It was as if someone had pressed 'go' the moment he was reunited with his childhood friend. He could easily lose him again. That couldn't happen. He wouldn't let him. Not ever. It was time for Riku to admit everything to the younger boy. One day soon...

For now, he was testing the waters. Seeing how far he could go with the things he said and did before Sora pushed away, an uncomfortable look on his face. So far, he hadn't. Not once. It was almost as if he returned the feeling. For instance, earlier today, on the beach. He was sure that Sora had understood every word he said. Certain that he had gotten the meaning, despite his sarcasm.

But damn, it had been so hard not to kiss him, when he was laying pinned beneath, the fine grains of sand contrasting with his darker hair and skin. He was just so perfect, in every way. Which is why it pained Riku so much to be sitting on that roof, watching Sora from a distance.

Far below him, he could see Sora's small, almost indistinguishable, figure, sitting on the dock. His back was hunched slightly, and despite the distance, it was mindlessly easy to tell that something was on his mind. Whatever it was appeared to be physically weighing him down. Something must have happened. After the race, which he had won by several seconds, he hadn't even shown the slightest gloating smile. There were none of his usual bragging, friendly insults. He had simply flopped down on the grass, not speaking a word. Kairi, who had been watching the proceedings from the window, had run outside to congratulate him. In a high, excited voice she had told him that he and Riku were really even now, and –no offence meant to Riku himself, of course- that she was sure he could switch around the score so he was the better.

On any other day, he would have laughed and been a bit modest while still agreeing. Today he could only manage to force the barest of plastic smiles on to his face.

He had sat around with the other two, eating lunch, sometime giggling at jokes. Always, he seemed distant however. Eventually he had just given up, saying he needed to be alone until he could figure something out. Without waiting for anyone to say or do anything further, he had left, an event that had lead up to the present situation.

'Was it something I did? Did I freak him out down there on the beach?' Riku thought desperately, still hyper-focused on Sora's small silhouette. 'What if he's not gay? I shouldn't have done anything. I should have just kept it to myself. I have no business falling in love with him. I never should have. A part of me must have known that one of us would get hurt. Maybe both of us...'

From his position on the dock, Sora slowly turned around, his slight body facing away from the endless ocean, towards the shack. Was he looking at Riku? He stood up and started walking toward Riku. His heartbeat sped up painfully as he neared the end of the beach. Did he notice he had been watching him, practically like a stalker, for the last few hours?

"Riku!" Sora waved, climbing up a slop toward him. "Are you just going to sit there watching me like a stalker? What way is that to treat a friend who needs you a lot? Couldn't you have come to comfort me? " He the stopped, quite abruptly as though a thought had strayed from his brain when it wasn't supposed to.

Thank god the sun had began to set – it hide the crimson colour that had risen to Riku's face . It was like Sora could read his mind. He had always found that sort of creepy. Who wouldn't? Sniggering inwardly at the though, he didn't realize that the setting sun was cloaking Sora's rose colored cheeks at the same time.

"Anyway" Sora laughed lightly as he began to climb up the roughly made rope ladder thrown over the side of the building. "Sorry about earlier today. I know it might sound dumb to say this... but it wasn't anything you did, okay?"

Riku shook his head, even though the brunette couldn't see it because he was ascending the building and currently out of view.

"That doesn't sound dumb. I- I was actually a bit worried that I had..."

He cut off there, leaving his words hanging in the night air.. Sora was still just a boy of nearly 14. It was possible he was still utterly clueless about Riku's recent displays of affection. He would have to be a complete idiot not to notice.. but that wouldn't be the first time Sora hadn't noticed simple things.

Sora jumped up on to the roof gracefully, settling in close to his silver-haired friend. He tilted his head to one side, his muddy hair hanging to one side, his bangs falling over his sky-blue eyes.

"Yeah? Worried about what?"

"It's nothing. Just forget it. Do you want to talk about what _is_ bothering you?" He gently laid his hand on the boy's shoulder, letting it rest there in a gesture of affection and concern.

"I do... that's why I came up here." Sora pulled his knees to his chest, the fabric of his black pants pressing into indentations of his fingers.

Riku sighed in relief, because he had seemed to forget about his unfinished sentence, because he wasn't to blame for his sudden mood swing, and because he was going to find out what _was_ causing it.

"But first, " Sora grinned teasingly, "I want you to finish that sentence.

'Crap.' Riku groaned inwardly. 'Okay. Just play it dumb. Act like the only thing on your mind is his problems.' This wouldn't be hard – the boy was the only thing on his mind.

"What sentence? Are you trying to avoid telling me something? Scared I'll make fun of you?" Then he grew serious, the kidding shine in his eyes fading away.

" Sora, you know you can tell me anything. We've been through so much together that it won't matter what it is. Alright? Whatever's bothering you, I'll try my best to help, and even if I can't, I'll still be there for you."

Sora nodded slowly. "I've been having these dreams lately. Well, ever since we got back here, anyway. They're sort of... weird. You know? I've never had any dreams like them. It's like they have their own live. Like, they're a part of me or something. I don't know how to describe it... but, you know what I mean, sort of, right?"

Riku nodded, trying hard not to fling his arms around Sora, sobbing that it was okay to feel how he felt, because he felt it himself.

"I was having on of those dreams while I was on the beach. Before you woke me up."

"Yeah? What exactly was it about?"

It was best to make sure this was about what he wanted it to be about. No need to make a complete idiot out of himself yet.

Sora took a deep breath and, in the most detail he could manage, explained the dreams to the older boy. He tried his best to convey the overwhelming emotions that the dreams left him with. Part of him knew he wasn't really getting the whole situation across, but he was sure Riku would understand. He was good like that.

"So, anyway...when we were racing, I started to think. I know Roxas dreamed a lot about my memories. Why can't I do the same thing? Maybe that's what's happening. Roxas must have known Axel. Axel kind of mentioned he knew him, that one time we met. I think Axel might have seen Roxas in me. That must be why he saved me."

Riku deflated for a second. Did it make him a terrible person to be disapointed that he hadn't been about to confess his undying love for him? He had been so sure this would be the moment it finally happened. Their first kiss... the scenery was perfect, the setting... everything.

Except Sora wasn't interested in that.

There would always be a next time though, right? Maybe?

"...I just don't understand _why _I'm remebering this things. Roxas knows Axel died, doesn't he?" Sora whimpered in confusion.

Pushing his selfish thoughts aside, Riku pulled Sora close to him in a tight embrace. Sora shifted himself closer, leaning his head on his shoulder. Protectivly, as if by instinct, Riku gently placed his arm around his waist. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

"Maybe that's why he's remembering him. Maybe he's sad because Axel died. If someone I cared about died, I would spend alot of time thinking of them to. I'm sure that's it. Try not to worry about it to much, K?"

Was it just him, or had Sora moved closer?

"I would be sad if you died."

He added suddenly, looking up at Riku innocently. His blue eyes sparkled. "I would be really sad. I don't blame Roxas. I can imagine how he feels."

Despite the seriousness of the moment, Riku couldn't help but break out into a wide smile. Without thinking, he pressed his lips caressingly on to the soft skin of Sora's forehead. It was as if the boys words had opened up every gate he had ever closed. The affection was overwhelming. A nice overwhelming, as though he had finally found something worth holding on to.

"Do you think you should do anything about it?" Riku whispered softly. "About Roxas?"

It took Sora several seconds to regain himself. Not even aware of it, he pressed two fingers to the spot on his forehead Riku had kissed. In that single moment, he had forgotten his problems. Some unknown thing however, brought him back to reality, jogged his memory. Right- the dream.. memory.. things.

"Only if I really have to. His best friend died, Riku. He needs time to sort through all that. I was stupid to think there might be something more complex going on here. He's not sending me messages or anything. He's just... " He searched for the right word, "Mourning."

The words hung in the air. They had been head, but not really understood. For Sora, his worries seemed far away. It didn't occur to him that even the most insignifigant of dreams had meanings. It didn't occur to him that this was one problem that hadn't been solved. All he knew, all he wanted to know, was that Riku would help him through it. He was sure. For Riku, the moment was frozen in time. He would give up anything, everything, just to be with Sora. Just for the moment to last forever. Just to keep his arm around him. Just to feel the smooth fabric of his shirt on his fingertips. Just to hug his slim figure close. He knew he would help Sora no matter what. Silenty, he plegded this to himself. Even if, in the end, Sora didn't love him, he would always love Sora. Nothing could take that away.

Nothing.

In that moment, they both sensed that this might be the start of something.

**Random end of chapter A/N** Was that short? Was it boring? Am I just being paranoid? Meh. I'm proud of it. It's very emotional. Well, I hope you enjoyed it. Leave a comment. 3 They're very much apperciated.


	3. Chapter Three

**A/N** I realized... Sora would actually be 15 during the time this story takes place. xD. Which would make Riku older. Sorry for the confusion I may or may not have caused. I guess. xX

**Chapter Three**

The moon was shining in the sky, bright and round. The night was clear, not a cloud in sight, and the radiance of the moon lit up the night lands like a sun. It cast over the ocean, light rays bending this way and that in the reflection in the water. By night, Destiny Island was a mystery. The stars shone stronger, the moon was fuller, the night animals were many. Reality was further away.

Set in the middle of this scene was an old shack. It's wooden walls were worn from the years of use and love then it had seen.

Not love in that sense, pervert.

Ever since it had been built, children had grown up wasting their days in this cabin with their friends. Tonight, two boys lay atop the weather beaten roof. The older one, nearly a man at 17, lay on his side, his long, nearly shoulder length white hair sprawled out underneath him messily. His hand was laid gently across the chest of the younger of the two. The 15 year old lay snuggled against him, his breathing deep, even and peaceful. He had only recently fallen asleep, the two had stayed up for hours, talking through any and all topics.

Neither of them had dared to stray toward the one topic that was both, to a certain extent, but in variety, foremost on their minds.

In relation to the one topic of conversation they had avoided, neither of them had manifested their feelings in to actions. The only accepted affection was, first as a comforting gesture, then as an attempt to warm him up, that the older boy kept his arms firmly locked around the brunette all night.

Again, not in a perverted way.

Besides, they hadn't need to talk about their feelings for each other. What wasn't said with sentences was whispered with the eyes. They didn't need to tell each other. Mutually, they understood that now was not the time. Neither were ready for 'I love you's' that might come later. When everything was certain. When there was no doubt.

Riku watched Sora sleep, his green eyes taking in his resting face. The whole business of Roxas' memories had settled uneasily on him, now that he was able to think clearly. By nature, Riku wasn't a trusting person. It had taken an entire lifetime for him to build the friendships he had now. He saw evil everywhere. Some might call him paranoid. He would consider himself cautious and protective. After all, he hadn't gotten to see this night by jumping in to things without thinking about them. He would have been dead now if he had trusted everyone he met.

What bothered him was the _why_. He knew so little about Roxas that it was hard to tell anything for certain. Even a stranger, however, would, in all probability, think it weird that Roxas was showing Sora treasured memories in his dreams. Yes, they were, in essence, one and the same. They had lead separate lives though. Met different people. So when it came down to it, they were different people. Different existences in with the same soul.

Sora snored lightly, then sighed, still asleep. Was he dreaming right now? Riku touched his face lightly. Should he wake him up? Would he wake up on his own?

Might as well let him sleep. He was cuter then a kitten when he slept. Especially when he slept curled up, as he sporadically did.

With that thought in mind, Riku stifled a yawn, reminding himself that he too, should sleep. There was no use worrying about the unknown. Not when it was yet to happen. As it usually was with the unknown.

He closed his eyes and tried to keep his mind from racing.

The moon was still out, high in the sky, when Sora finally opened his eyes to find Riku's arm snaked around his body, his eyes still watchful and alert. Not expecting to find Riku still up, or to find himself sleeping so close to this boy, he let out an involuntary squeak.

"Riku! _You creep!_ How long have you been watching me sleep?"

He moved away an inch, slightly frightened, amused and, in some weird way, intoxicated that the first thing he had woken up to was a front row image of Riku's startling eyes. Riku, noticing he had shifted away, sat up stiffly, an almost offended look on his face. His strong arms moved away, careful to distance his finger tips from Sora.

'Why was he watching me sleep?' Sora followed his example, pulling his still-sleeping body in to a position that could almost resemble sitting, if that was what one was looking for. 'Was he holding me like that all night? Why.. does that make me happy? ' His thoughts staggered around, disorganized and confused.

"Why are you looking at me like that? You look cute when you sleep... that's not my fault, is it? Not illegal to think that, is it?" Riku asked, stung, his voice wavering slightly.

It felt as if his eyebrows had shot off his forehead. He was still dreaming. That was it. This was all a dream. There was no way Riku would say something so... direct. Not to him anyway. Just like there was no way that he could be enjoying this conversation. There was no way his heart was fluttering at the thought of Riku. There was no way that could be happening. It was a dream. Just some weird, twisted, perverted dream.

"Well, it was creepy."

'If this is a dream, ' Sora reasoned inwardly 'Why would I be thinking this is a dream? That's just stupid.'

"Riku?" Sora inquired in a hushed voice, " Are you mad?"

He glared aggressively at him, his arms crossed. "I love how you point out the obvious."

The words dropped on Sora, comparing to almost nothing he had heard before. He would rather be fighting a million Heartless then dealing with this right now. The idea of Riku being angry was terrifying.

'He's my _best friend_. We've had fights before. I can't... like him, can I?' Now he was on the brink of panic over his confusion. 'Do I like him? Like that? I know I do. I'm just accepting it now. That's all. Right?'

These internal conversations with himself were starting to disorient him even more. It just wasn't normal. He didn't think his feelings were either. All the same, he didn't want Riku to be upset about anything anymore.

"I'm sorry. " He hung his head slightly, angling his body toward Riku, "It was just so unexpected to wake up like that. I'm not saying you're creepy or anything. I'm... glad you think I look cute."

Riku continued to hold his icy gaze as he spoke. Gradually, his frown melted in to a relaxed line. He almost smiled.

"No, it's okay. I'm to uptight. I would have been a bit surprised if I had woken up to find someone staring at me like that too. Like a stalker..."

He paused. Took in a deep, considering breath.

"Can- We're okay right?" His sentence changed direction. His hand had found it's way to Sora's right cheek. It was just natural to touch him when they spoke. Like he was a magnet or something. A very attractive magnet.

Sora nodded. "Want to go back to sleep? I'm still tired..."

A roaring debate was going on in Riku's head as they spoke. Should he make a move? Now was the perfect time. Should he not? Now might be a bit awkward. He was going to regret it if he did. He was going to regret it even more if he didn't. There would be other times, more appropriate ones. What was more appropriate then now? There was no time like the present. What if Sora didn't like him like that? What if he did, but he was to scared to do anything and if he didn't gather the courage now, nothing would ever happen. No, it was to late now, you dumb ass, he's going to lie down and go back to sleep. Now you're to late. You've ruined your life. I hope you're happy.

"Oh, screw this." Riku snapped at himself.

An awkward silence followed as he realized he had spoken the closing statement of his dispute out loud. There was going to be no rational explanation for that outburst. He grasped Sora's arm, disabling him from laying back down.

"What are you talking about?" Sora raised an eyebrow. There faces were only inches apart and he could feel Riku's uneven breathes on his face. This was both exciting and scaring him.

In replay, Riku closed the distance between their lips, kissing him cautiously.

Every nerve in Sora's body sent waves of passion draping over him. He hesitated only a second before returning the kiss. His hand ran up Riku's neck, in to his soft hair. A small part of him was protesting almost violently, telling him that this was wrong. _Wrong._ He ignored it. Anything it had to say now was worthless. The only feeling left in his body was that of Riku's lips on his. It was all that mattered.

This was what it was like to kiss the one you loved. Really and truly loved. Like this was what it was like to share a first kiss with 'the one'. If someone had asked either of them to describe the electricity that ran through their bodies, connecting them, or to replay the sheer breath stealing emotions, they wouldn't have been able to. Both would agree that such an experience was one that you could only understand after having encountered it yourself.

Encouraged and enjoying the feeling of fingers in his hair, Riku pulled Sora closer, lightly touching the side of his face.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, time pulled itself out of a stop and Sora pulled away reluctantly.

Still in Riku's arms, Sora lay his head down on his lap, looking up at his breathlessly, his deep sapphire eyes shining clearly in the moonlight. Riku grinned down at him, caressing his hair slowly.

Neither spoke a word. Everything they needed to say was said with their eyes, with their bodies. There was no need to speak. No need to express the affection that had joined two souls together. Even a whisper would have shattered the beauty of the moment.

'_Why?'_

'_Because I need you.'_

"Wow. _Wow_, you guys. Get a room, why don't you?"

Kairi stood above the two boys. The sun had already risen high in the sky, reflecting of the pink of her outfit brightly. The rays of light caught in her auburn hair, causing each strand to shimmer like a diamond. Her hands were on her hips, her lips pursed slightly, as she took in the sight before her.

Once again, the boys had fallen asleep. Sora curled up like a helpless child in Riku's arms. They were still on the roof of the shack. Neither had wanted to ruin the night by suggesting they move, and so they had fallen asleep together here.

As one, their eyes snapped open, Kairi's sharp voice acting like an alarm clock. One of those annoying ones that didn't shut up. For a second, neither understood what she was going on about. Then a deep, crimson blush rose in their faces as they looked at their current position. Grinning sheepishly, they untangled themselves, then looked up at their friend innocently.

"Here I was, worried that you had gotten lost or something what I woke up and there was no one around." She shook her head.

Sora stuttered, embarrassed and an little dazed. "It was cold out. You don't except Riku to let me freeze, do you?"

He threw his arm around said boy's shoulder in a friendly way.

Going along with it, Riku nodded. "What kind of a terrible friend do you think I am? Without me, Sora would have died. He's completely helpless." He flashed Kairi a row of straight, white teeth.

"Hey!" Sora pouted, his eyes shimmering with fake tears, "I'm _not_ that helpless, Riku!"

Kairi crossed her arms, trading the bulk of her weight to the other foot. "Couldn't you just have gone inside, or something? Unless.." She pressed a hand to her mouth, stifling a giggle. She wasn't mad. Quite the opposite. A large part of her found it entertaining to catch the two in compromising situations such as this. She didn't believe they were ever _actually _doing anything. The two were just so close that the suggestion was believable. Besides, their reactions were always priceless enough to crush whatever doubts she might have. She would end up with Sora one day. He had said so by sharing the Paopu fruit.

Even if they didn't, Riku _was_ just as good looking.

Sora looked at her dumbly. "Unless what?"

"Unless you guys were making out up here." She said, firing the statement point-blank.

Already having been through similar conversations a million times, she wasn't expecting anything new, really. The way Sora instantly stiffened and took his arm off Riku. The way Riku blushed and shot what might have been a guilty look at his friend however, _that _was new. Usually they just went along with it. Giggling like school girls, giving each other sexy looks. That sort of thing.

"Don't know what you're talking about." Both boys chimed at the same time, obviously masking something.

Sora, noticing the suspicious look Kairi was giving them, laughed nervously. "I would _never _touch him."

"Yeah. I could get _way _better." A seductive look shot Kairi's way.

She shrugged, ignoring Riku. She was used to him doing things like that. It was nothing new. It was just who he was. She knew he didn't mean anything by it. A flirt by nature was the basic gist of it.

Still... she had caught the tense look that was hidden by the smile. They hadn't really... had they?

No. It was impossible.

She turned around, making to climb down the ladder. "Anyway. Are you boys hungry? It's nearly noon. I made lunch if you want some. God. I sound like your mothers."

Nods from both boys. They stood up sleepily, stretched, ran hands through their messed hair, half-heartedly trying to tame it. Satisfied that they were up, Kairi grabbed the rope ladder, climbing down.

Sora and Riku, too good to use the ladder, jumped off the roof of the shack. Sora landing neatly on his feet, did an exaggerated bow, and watched Riku's elegant landing. Riku, still slightly annoyed by his hair, offered one arm to each of them.

"Mind if I walk you both back? We all know Sora would get lost without me. I'm sure you'd be fine, Kairi, but I'm a gentleman."

Together, they walked in their own separate thoughts.

'Good, things are back to normal. I must just be paranoid.' Kairi chided herself. 'Why would they have something going on? Seriously?'

A few minutes later they were on the beach. Before them in the sand lay a traditional picnic spread. Red checked blanket laid beneath a wide, wicker basket, inside of which was obviously carefully prepared sandwiches and assorted snacks. A thermos full of juice lay next to it, several cups, cutlery and plates beside that. It was all spread out with care, as if the one who had done it was expecting pictures to be taken. In a few words, picture perfect. A small, cool breeze from the ocean turned up the corners of the blanket slightly.

"It was such a nice day that I thought we just _had_ to have a picnic." Kairi stated, by way of explanation. "I love picnics!"

'Kairi," Sora put a hand on her shoulder, " Every day here is a nice day. It barely ever rains here."

His face lit up in a playful smile with the simple joy of pointing out the obvious.

"Are you saying there's something wrong with having a picnic then?"

In reply, both Sora and Riku, dying of hunger, fell down messily in to a sitting position on the sheet. Greedily, they eyed the food as Kairi took it out of the basket at what seemed like an agonizingly slow pace. Ignoring their protests, she purposely set everything out carefully, telling them that if they had gotten up before noon, they wouldn't be so hungry now.

After what seemed like an eternity, she nodded, giving them permission to ruin her careful display.

A few hours later, the food was eaten and everyone was content, to a point, with the world. Kairi lay on her stomach, feet swinging in the air. Her wet auburn hair was plastered to her head. The sand underneath her was a darker colour from her moisture of her bathing suit. She was watching Sora and Riku. The boys were still in the water, both clad in swim trunks, all their attention focused on the water fight at hand. They splashed water violently back and forth with their hands. Every so often, Riku would grab Sora round the waist like a rag doll and plunge the protesting boy in to the cold water. Despite his kicking and screaming, even from here, Kairi could see the smile on the younger boy's face. He was enjoying it. A lot.

'...And they wonder why I joke about them being gay. Honestly.' She stopped there. No way was she going to go back to that line of thought. No way would it lead anywhere pleasant.

Sora's voice rescued her from straying toward that territory.

"You win, Riku! I'm done for today." He was swimming toward the shore now, his stroke long and even.

"Awesome! Race you to shore?" Riku replaying, catching up to him, his muscular arms matching him stroke for stroke.

"You already won. You just want to show off."

Whispered words. The only thing Kairi could catch was "...as long as I get to..." Wow, was her imagination running wild with that one. Mentally, because doing so physically would look strange had either boy been aware of her existence at the moment, she slapped herself. No thoughts about that! She slapped herself again. Do _not_ imagine what they might have been doing on that roof, or when they were both fully submerged in the water. No. Just don't. She shivered in spite of the warmth. It was their fault that they were so close. Their fault she kept thinking of them like that. Even if it was wrong beyond any other possible thing in this world. Or any other, while she was on topic.

Sora stepped on to the sun heated sand first, water dripping to the ground in fat, round droplets. Riku was right behind him. He grabbed him by his waist, hugging him. Sora brushed him off awkwardly, whispering words in his ear. Nodding, Riku backed off, waving to Kairi.

"Enjoying yourself?" He jogged toward her.

She nodded. "I want to get a tan."

"Why? It's not like you really need- "

She cut him off pointing to Sora's retreating back. "Where's he going?"

Riku shrugged thoughtfully, a clouded look passing over his features for a second. "Probably just inside for awhile. To much sun, I'll bet. " He shrugged, then impulsively hugged Kairi. "It's been awhile since just me and you talked, hasn't it?" He smiled at her. "Been spending to much time with Sora..."

Sora looked back at Riku and Kairi. Good. They were talking. Hopefully not about him, but they were talking. That was the important part. It would give him time to think. Time alone to clear his scattered head. He felt bad about telling Riku to cool it back there. Ashamed that he was scared to show Kairi what had happened between them. There was no helping it though. Kairi would be so disappointed in him. Not their relationship. Just in him. She and him were supposed to be together. Destiny.

He wandered down a small path to the jungle, sitting on a boulder sticking out of the mossy ground. It was surrounded by trees, completely secluded. One edge jutted out high in to the air. He climbed to the high point, sat and dangled his legs off the edge, his bare feet swinging back and forth. Just the place to think.

Destiny. What was it? Him and Kairi? He had thought that was it. That she was the person he would love forever. He had always thought, been determined, that Riku and him would stay friends. Again, destiny. Kairi though, she and him were meant to be. At least, he had thought so until Riku had kissed him...

Annoyed by always having more questions then answers, he curled his hand in to a tight fist, silently cursing and loving Riku at the same time. Had he never made his feelings clear, this wouldn't have happened. Had he just pretended they had never kissed, they wouldn't be in this situation. He wouldn't feel like he wanted to be with Riku and run away from him at the same time. He wouldn't feel that, with every touch between the two, Kairi was getting closer to figuring out the two of them were more then friends. Not that he hadn't wanted him to. Last night was a haze. A dream in a dream. Except this time, it wasn't a dream. It was reality. That night, things had really changed. Friends had become lovers.

Were they even more then friends? Was Riku his... boyfriend? Having spent the last couple years of him life saving various worlds, he wasn't very experienced in relationships like this. Riku seemed to think so though. He just wished he wasn't so open about it. He just wished they could hide it away forever. He needed him. He needed to hide it. That Riku would understand, now that he had whispered the words in his ear.

Wait. Was he ashamed of liking Riku? Did that have something to do with it? Was this whole thing a combination of fear of hurting Kairi and being ashamed of who he was? Was he even really that person?

Could knowing that Riku liked him be the cause of his feelings? Knowing that someone cared? Was he just desperate to feel needed?

Reflecting on his thoughts towards the boy in the last year or so, he knew the answer was no. He liked Riku because he did. There was no reason other then because. There didn't have to be. Riku was the reason.

Having established that he liked Riku, and Riku liked him, his thoughts turned back to Kairi. What would she do if she found out? After all, they were destined to be together. It was fate. Destiny.

'Forget it!' His mind screamed at him as his logic ran around in circles. There was no point to thought if the thoughts themselves just repeated over and over. Riku, Kairi, Riku, Kairi. No justification for bothering to think if all you came up with was more questions then before.

Besides, his optimism had kicked in, things would work themselves out in the end. If he meant half as much to them as they meant to him, this would all work out. Even if it took time. It would all work out. Like a story with a happy ending. Things would be solved. He just had to wait and make it through. He'd made it through worse. He could do that.

Deep inside him, another thought squirmed. He had had the dream again. Axel, always Axel. Riku had woken him up in the middle of if, but not before he had seen his face thrown in to shadow by a black hood. He hadn't seen his eyes, or anything to identify him, but he had been certain it was him. He hadn't need to see red hair or green eyes to know who it was. The feeling in his heart had told him.

He felt so sorry for Roxas. He could only imagine what it would feel like to know that someone so close to him had died. He wished there was something he could do to heal him. Something he could give, do... say. Anything to ease his pain. For this purpose, Sora bore the sadness that had sometimes threatened to over-come him today. He had not complained even once about the sudden flashed of emotion that overtook him. Despair, anger, jealousy, hate, envy, love. As irrational as they might have seemed, he was sure they would pass. Eventually Roxas would become unaware of his existence, at least to a point. Or, at least his would stop attaching his pain to Sora. He wanted to help him, but the most he could do was accept him. He had to accept it. Even if he didn't understand why he was being shown all this.

After all, Axel was dead. He'd seen it with his own eyes.

And Roxas knew it. But why was he seeing his memories?

A branch snapped in the trees behind him, shattering the silence like a bullet through glass. His self defense shot up, even though it was probably just an animal. As if reading his mind, someone spoke.

"It's all your fault."

A/N Drama! o Scandal! Gasp! Listening to emotional music. Etc. Etc. Anyway! 9.5-ish pages long this time. . Quite a skippy chapter to. Jumps around a lot... There was just so much I needed to get in. I hope I did it well enough. (Paranoid, again, I know. -.-) Hope you enjoyed it. Review, please? I really love feedback. It keeps me writing knowing that more then one person reads my little story.

Yavi, 3


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter 4**

"Don't turn around."

Whoever had snuck up on Sora was standing behind him on the path below the boulder he sat on. His voice contradicted itself - soft and sharp. Simultaneously familiar and foreign. He seemed to be the only thing left in the world capable of making sound. The birds were hushed, the trees silent, the wind still, watching the scene unfold. Even Sora, who had always been able to find words, wasn't sure he could speak. Something told him that this wasn't the moment to steal the silence. He was to wait, even if he was impatient for the intruder to continue. When nothing followed, and his curious got the better of him, he shifted slightly, considering. Making up his mind, he started to turn his slim figure around. Despite this man's cold voice, Sora sensed, deep within him. that he was in no physical harm.

The voice stopped him, mid action.

"I know you heard me..."

As if his words controlled him, Sora snapped back to his original position, facing the green canvas of the trees beyond him. He could have disobeyed, but he saw no reason to. He had decided to play along and indulge the intruder. Just to see where this was all leading to. Why was this guy so insistent? What did he want? Play his game. Get your answer. However, Sora wasn't an idiot. He kept his battle instincts alert, prepared to defend himself if it was necessary.

He shrugged his shoulders with exaggeration. "Okay. Fine. Just tell me why. Are you going to try and overpower me while my back is turned, even though I know you're right behind me? Usually, that works better when you're silent. You're the worst mugger I've ever seen. Even though I haven't actually seen you..."

A silence. A heavy, slightly annoyed, slightly amused sigh.

"I want you to recognize me by my voice. I know you can."

_That voice! _Where had he heard it? It was so familiar, yet impossible to place. Like hearing the voice of a long-lost friend that you had nearly forgotten. His mind raced. Just when he though he had it, it would slip away. It was just out of his reach, and he knew it. It was teasing him, laughing, mocking him. It was so obvious, and yet so difficult. _Who was it?_

Mental checklist time.

Riku? No. He would have known already. Cloud? No. Leon? No. Axel? No, too dead to be talking. Any member of the Organization? Impossible. Getting closer? Yes. Donald, Goofy? No, wrong direction. Kairi, Namine? Hell no. Wrong direction again. They were too female, making it doubtable. Hayner, Pence from Twilight Town? There. That was closer... but still not it. Who was he missing?

He sighed loudly, signaling defeat. He knew who it was, but at the same time, he was lost.

"_Think_, Sora."

There hadn't been so much as the a sound from behind him. Whoever it was hadn't even moved his foot. Dead still.

Sora shook his head, failing to grasp the connection right in front of him. Then something hit him.

"How do you know my name if I don't know yours?" He shot a suspicious glare at the trees in front of him.

"I told you, you know my name. We're the same completely, yet absolute opposites. One soul, two hearts."

There is was. Realization. Like lightning had hit him. He knew that voice! Of course he knew that voice! How could he _not_ know that voice? Why, exactly, they were _here, _lurking behind him, or all places, however, was unexplainable. Baffling. Logically, it made very little sense. It was believable, just strange. Really strange. He figured he would know soon. Questions would have answers. He could feel it. Finally.

"... So you are nobody." Sora half whispered, half spoke the sentence, his voice quivering.

A twig cracked. Light footsteps crossed the path, padded gently up the rock toward him. A shadow of a boy about his height with short, spiky hair fell upon Sora. And still he did not turn around. And still he did not look on the face of the boy. He could see it in his mind, and he didn't need to. Blonde hair instead of Sora's light brown. A smaller face. The same nose. Identical blue eyes. Except for some differences, it was like looking in a mirror. He wore a white jacket over a black shirt, black and white pants, and a select few pieces of jewelry. A checked wristband and two rings on his right hand.

"Hey. That's mean..."

Roxas sat down beside Sora, giving him an injured stare. He smiled slightly and put a hand on his shoulder. He seemed tense, as if he would rather be somewhere, doing something else, but this was more important and couldn't be avoided.

They both spoke at the same time.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Sora broke in to nervous laughter. Talking to one's Nobody was a strange thing. He was yet to get used to the sensation. He felt like he was talking to himself, and he was answering back. Creepy... he doubted he would ever adjust to it. That, and the intense guilt he was feeling at the moment made the situation somewhat nerve-wrecking.

"Sora, sorry for the dramatic entrance. Just had to. We have a lot to talk about. I know that I should have gone about showing you things in a less dramatic way, but I couldn't think of anything else. It was the only way to get your attention. "

His identical eyes bore in to the Sora's, not blinking, not moving.

"It doesn't matter though, really. What I want to know is, what are _you _sorry for?"

Sora opened his mouth to speak, considered, then closed it again. Really, when he thought about it, what was he sorry for? He had never done anything to Roxas that warranted a request for forgiveness. Not that he knew about, anyway. He blinked once, ending the unofficial staring contest going on between the two boys. There, he had it. He knew what he was sorry for.

"I'm sorry I called you nobody. Even if that's what you really all. But, mostly, I-I'm... sorry Axel died. I'm sorry you never got to say goodbye."

Roxas shook his head. "Yeah. But you're not sorry that it's your fault, are you?"

Taken aback, Sora let out a small gasp. He was sorry Roxas' best friend was dead. He was sorry he hadn't been about to stop it. He was sorry he hadn't done something. He would give so much up if it met that Roxas could have Axel back. But he couldn't do that. Just like he couldn't admit it was his fault when it wasn't. He couldn't apologize for something he hadn't done. He hadn't killed Axel.

"It's not my fault."

Roxas' voice was dead calm. "Axel died protecting you. You didn't stop it, even though you could have. I bet it didn't even matter that he died. I bet you just brushed it off. Just one more person falling over themselves to help you, to make you happy. It's disgusting."

It would have been better if he was yelling, screaming, instead of just sitting there, his voice almost monotonous. Underneath it all was a current of feeling that managed to break though, even if he was trying to control himself. "

"Can you even think of anyone but yourself? Just for once, couldn't you notice that the people giving their lives for you meant something to someone else? Did you even think about how broken those people would be if the one they loved was killed protecting you? No. You didn't. That makes it your fault. You had the power to stop it, and you didn't."

His words stung Sora physically. He had basically just slapped him in the face, without lifting a single finger. Without even touching him. It wasn't his fault. He hadn't wanted Axel to protect him...they could have fought together. They could have won... maybe. Maybe they should have died together. Maybe he should have died instead of Axel. Then he wouldn't be sitting here, listening to hatred flow in to him uncontrollably. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes, falling down his cheeks slowly. Beside him, Roxas was wiping a tear from his face with the back of his hand.

'No,' His mind was screaming, 'It's not your fault! You know it! You never asked anyone to help you!'

A small voice in his mind repeated Roxas' accusation, 'You never tried to stop them... never...'

He bit his lip, whimpering like a little boy, wishing desperately that Riku was here to hold him. Wishing he could make this all go away like magic... It wasn't his fault, it wasn't his fault, it wasn't his fault. How could Roxas even suggest that? Sora was the reason he was alive in the first place. No. No. Don't think that. Thinking that would make him selfish. Roxas was suffering. He didn't necessarily mean the things he said. He couldn't help it though. At that moment he hated Roxas, despite his pain. The feeling scared him.

Several minutes went by without either making a sound.

"Roxas..."

Sora breathed in heavily, the calming affect washing over him peacefully.

"I understand why you're blaming me. I know I would probably think that same thing at first if... " He paused, a part of him was holding back, cautioning him not to mention Riku." ...If a friend of mine died to save you. You know what though? I think Axel saved me because he recognized you in me. He said as much. He told me I reminded him of someone. That someone was you. He died because you saw you. So please, don't hate me for it."

Roxas sagged at his side, leaning against him for support. He was crying openly now, not even bothering to wipe his tears. He just didn't had enough energy left to move himself at all. Sora looked down at the boy sadly. He had every appearance of a broken little boy.

"I don't hate you... He can't be dead though. He just can't be. Nothing else matters anymore. Not without Axel. He can't be dead." His voice dropped to a pitiful whisper. "Nothing else matters without him..."

Sora's hatred crashed. Impulsively, he hugged Roxas, dimly aware that he was essentially hugging himself. This poor boy. He would give stop him from crying. It was nearly to much to take.

"Roxas...Why did you show me those memories?"

Roxas paused, pointlessly wiped a tear away, only to have it replaced by another one.

"I blamed you. So I wanted to hurt you even a fraction of how much I hurt by showing you how much I cared about him. It doesn't matter now though. He's not dead. Axel wouldn't die that easily. I don't believe it."

Poor boy... now he was in denial. Deep in denial, most likely. He wouldn't be convinced otherwise, even if Sora tried. Which he had to. Had to make him understand. All he could do was help him through it.

"Axel is dead. I saw him fade away. He's dead, Roxas. You have to move on. You can't spend your entire life feeling sorry for yourself. No one would have wanted that."

Was it insensitive to say that? Probably. Truth was always better though.

Roxas's eyes popped open. His tears stopped suddenly. His body tensed up, no longer sagging in to Sora. There was a sharper, cleared edge to his voice now. Something had changed within him.

"See? I told you he's not dead. Dead people don't just fade away. He's not dead. I just have to find him."

Surprised blinking, a labored sigh. "...Roxas..."

"You have to help me find him. Please, Sora! He's waiting for me. I know he is. I'll search forever if I have to!"

It seemed to Sora like his words, intended to help him accept it, had just made things worse. He was drenched in denial. He's just made things worse.

"Please?" Roxas grabbed his hand, begging with his shiny eyes. "I love him. I have to find him!"

What should he do? Help him? Flat out tell him no? Tell him there was no hope? He couldn't do that. Sora bit his lip, contemplating. Throughout his life, he had constantly been told that he was to nice for his own good. Countless people had told him there wasn't enough anger in his soul, that he had to much compassion for his fellow human. Again and again, he was warned that it would be the death of him. Warned that his inability so say 'no' was going to get him into a situation he didn't want to be in. The truth was, those people were probably right. He was to caring. He couldn't turn away from someone in need, even if he hated them. Not that he really hated anyone.. but still. The point was that he always had to try. Everyone needed a friend. Roxas wanted to find his. Why not help? He doubted it was a relatively dangerous mission. He had survived more perilous trips.

Still... it felt like he had barely been home. Did he really want to leave what he had behind to chase the ghost of a dead boy?

He studied Roxas' soft features, noting the pleading in his face.

"I-I'll have to think about it, okay?"

Roxas sighed and closed his eyes, looking defeated, but not helpless. He was aware that at this point, he wouldn't be able to get a promise from Sora. He just had to wait and hope Sora's kind instincts would decide for him. Just wait patiently for the verdict to be passed.

"I'm leaving now."

Roxas stood up, brushing dirt off of himself. "I don't want to bother you anymore. I'll leave you to think. Just... I need Axel, okay? You can imagine what it's like, can't you? Think seriously, please."

Sora looked up at him.

"You're me, right? Of course I can imagine. " He grinned slightly, relived the sudden intrusion on his brooding was nearly over and he could be alone in his thoughts once more.

He just needed to say one more thing... just to end this properly.

"Hey... Roxas?" He spoke to the boys retreating back, waited for him to turn around before continuing. "Whatever I decide to do...I hope you find Axel. Good luck."

Roxas turned around briefly at his words. Sora caught a small glimpse of the first real smile he had seen on Roxas in a long time before he turned back, raising a hand in recognition. He kept walking, his words floating back when he was nearly out of hearing range.

"Yeah. Me to. See you soon, Sora."

Sora studied his receding figure until it was gone. Who knows where he was going? Who knew when he'd be back? It didn't matter, really. The boy had left an unfixable impression upon Sora. There was something in him that Sora saw in himself. Downright optimism. No matter what the circumstances. Sure, he was a bit down, but that was to be expected. Given how things looked, he was more optimistic about it then Sora was.

Guilt twinged painfully in the back of his mind. That Roxas had a brighter outlook on this was obvious. He hadn't _seen _Axel die. He's just heard about it. Hearing and experiencing are two completely polar things. It had been wrong to give him false hope. Axel wasn't coming back.

It was like Roxas' new attitude was contagious though. He wouldn't have been able to help himself if he had wanted to. Maybe Axel wasn't dead, after all. He had just faded away. He could have gone anywhere. The possiblities were endless, and he knew that as long as they still existed, Roxas would keep searching. Maybe there was hope. Maybe he should go with him.

Another tug at his heart. Riku. How could he leave Riku? Just when things were finally starting to happen, just when feelings were finally starting to surface. He had so much left to talk about with him still, so much to explore. Officially, he didn't even understand if they were a 'couple'. What was he to Riku? Did he have trouble breathing, thinking, existing, without him like Sora did? Did he need him? He couldn't leave Riku. He needed Riku.

And the only way to find out if the feeling was mutual was to stay. Yes, the whole search for Axel had a romantic air to it. But it wasn't his love story. His was here, on this island, on this beach, under these trees, this sky. If he left it to help Roxas, he would just be a character in the background. He would be nothing. Not once, and if, Axel was found. If that happened, who would he have? Riku would here still, probably angry at him for running off, just when things were getting good.

Now was not the time to close the pages of what could become a fairy tale just to start another story. A story that really shouldn't be his. A tale he had just gotten tangled up in, unexpectadly.

He couldn't go. Couldn't leave Riku, or Kairi, or anyone else on the island. He had just gotten back. There hadn't been a single moment when he was gone that he hadn't dreamt, wished of a place like home. This was home. He belonged here. Here, where there was love and friendship and everything he could ask for. How could he say he was going with Roxas?

In his mind, he could imagine the scene. Kairi would be crying...she wouldn't want to let go of his hand. Riku would be distant, standing off to the side, his silver hair hanging over his face like a curtain, his arms crossed. At the last minute, he might whisper that he loved him, that he would give anything to have him stay. Anything.

Most likely though, he would just ruin what he was building up. He hadn't much of Kairi in the last while, she was a different girl, yet still the same. He still had so much to learn about her, about the person she was, the woman she would become. He loved her. He should stay.

What would happen with Riku and him if he left? When he came back, would things be so awkard that nothing would happen between them again? Did he love Riku? Did Riku love him?

Was a part of him still hoping that Riku would forget? Something in him telling him that being with Kairi was the right thing, was telling him to go help Roxas. Search, then come back to Kairi. By then Riku would have realized him and Sora were a mistake and Sora could be with Kairi. A happy ending. Just the way destiny had planned it.

...Riku...

He bit his lip, laid down on his back, closing his eyes from the sun. Every fiber of the rest of his being was telling him to help Roxas. Roxas would have helped him if he was in his place. He ran a hand through his thick brown hair, flipping both sides of the coin over and over in his mind.

He hopped he wouldn't regret this to much. Destiny was calling to him. He couldn't change it. If he left now, everything would be back to how it was before last night.. before he had fallen for Riku.

He pulled himself up, slipped carefully down from the rock. He had to find a way to tell Kairi and Riku that he was departing with Roxas for awhile. He had to say goodbye to the ones he loved once again.

A/N" Sorry for the delay. And the lack of Riku. xD But this part had to be written.. .and so it has been. Riku will reappear next time though! I hope I did an okay job. Hope I didn't butcher what I've had going so far. There's just been so much going on recently that I haven't had much time to write.

Still... hope it was at least marginally enjoyable. Review? 333


	5. Chapter Five

A/N: Thanks so much for all my reviews. Sarah, I love you and your long reviews. Seriously, it's so awesome to know that I'm getting the emotion across to people who read this. Hope I can keep it up.

Chapter 5

Sora walked on the path back to the beach stiffly. There was none of the common spring left in his long strides. It was as if he had been changed entirely back there. As if he was a different person. And maybe.. maybe he was a different person. He was still basically the same, following the instinct to help other in need. Except... now, he wasn't so sure if helping was the right thing to do.

How could he say goodbye?

He ran through the scene over and over in his mind, rehearsing what he was going to say. The words never sounded right though. They sounds that came out of his mouth were always wrong. Maybe he just had to think about it more. Maybe the goodbye would just appear, fully written in him mind.

Of course he knew it wouldn't. This whole situation was wrong. There was no way to say goodbye to your best friends, to your...boyfriend?

'No,' Sora firmly told himself, 'Don't think about that. Don't think about Riku. You won't be able to say goodbye then.'

Here, he ran in to a problem. By trying to avoid the thought, he had thought it. He had allowed himself to bring Riku in to this again. Immediately, he could feel his resolve to leave shattering. He tried to remind himself of the situation. He was going partly to help Roxas, and mostly because he had to. He had to go because by risking being with Riku, he was messing with destiny. It was Kairi, and not the other boy, that he was meant to love. If he left the island for awhile, Riku would hate him and stop caring about him like that. Then when he came back, they could start over. He could be with Kairi. He was supposed to be with Kairi. Not Riku.

He was going so he could fix his destiny. He was going so he wouldn't hurt Kairi.

'What about Riku though?'

Sora glared at the dirt under his feet, kicking a rock angrily. With every step, he kicked the rock further ahead of him, repeating his thoughts.

"Don't."

Kick.

"Think. About."

Step. Kick.

"Riku."

Kick

The rock flew up in the air in a high, graceful arch. It sailed through the opening of the trees, hitting the shadowed figure that had just appeared there in the head with a dull thud.

"Ow! What the _hell_ was _that_ for?"

Riku stepped out of the cover of the trees, rubbing his injured head gingerly, a grimace on his face.

Startled and thinking vividly about how creepy and coincidental it was that the boy he had just been thinking about had appeared, Sora just blinked. It took his several seconds before he realized what had happened. He hands flew up to his mouth uncontrollably.

"Are you okay, Riku?"

At least he was still standing. He wasn't going to faint, he didn't have a concussion. That was a good thing.

"Yeah..." Riku winced in pain, his hand still massaging the side of his head. "That just really hurt. I come to see you and I get rocks thrown at me."

Sora rushed toward him, then stopped abruptly less then a foot away from the boy. Should he hug him? No... destiny, remember? Coming in contact with Riku would ruin everything he was planning.

"I-is there anything I can do? I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I was just kicking that rock and you got in the way and I'm sorry."

He listened to himself babble, disgusted. What was _wrong _with him? Since when did he babble like that? Never.

Riku held up a hand to stop Sora's words.

"Hey. It's okay. Don't worry about it."

He took a step forward, encircling the younger boy with both his arms. Gently, he kissed his forehead, causing Sora to look up, their eyes meeting. Instantly, Sora melted, snaking his arms around Riku's waist without hesitating. Everything on his mind rushed away, forgotten. All that was left was Riku, Riku and his arms, his lips – so full and inviting. It was as if a simple touch had hypnotized him. Had he ever really considered leaving? That seemed like centuries ago. Small and insignificant. Like a faint memory from his child that had no effect on him any more.

"Can I kiss it better?"

The words flowed from his mouth innocently, a mischievous grin reaching up to his eyes.

Riku, mirroring the look on his face, nodded.

Sora tenderly pressed his lips to the silver hair, then kissed Riku gently on the lips. It was Riku who broke them apart, stepping away, taking on of Sora's hands in his own.

"Sora... I came looking for you , you know that?"

Sora shook his head, his lips still on fire, screaming for more.

"I did. You've been gone so long, I was starting to worry about you."

A blink. Had he really been gone long? No, he didn't think so. Half an hour, at most. Still, it was sweet of Riku to come searching for him.

"And..." Uncertainty passed on Riku's face. "What you said on the beach? About me having to give you space and all... "

No longer was Riku the strong, independent man Sora had become accustomed to. He was almost shivering with worry. His hand holding Sora's so tight it was almost painful. He didn't want to let go.

"I just meant in front of Kairi. I don't want her knowing. I'm really sorry if you thought I meant something else. I just don't think we're ready to tell Kairi yet."

'Besides, this isn't right, Riku. You know that.' He finished the sentence off silently. Then, to fill the silence around them, he spoke aloud.

"You want to go for a walk or something? Just standing around is boring."

Riku nodded, taking the lead, pulling the younger boy toward the beach, away from the privacy of the forest. Sora was surprised to see that the blue of the sky was a deeper colour then when he had left. The soft blue was in transition with a navy colour. Had he really been gone that long? He had thought it wasn't even an hour, but from the looks of it, it had been at least an hour and a half, two hours tops. He was aware for the first time of that fact that his, as well as Riku's hair had dried. They really had been out of the water for a while. Obviously, he had lost track of time.

Riku pulled him along by the hand on to the sand, then let his go,

"Let's sit here."

"Okay." Doing as he was told, he sat, leaning his head on Riku's shoulder. He was still aware of a small awkwardness between them. They weren't really used to the intimacy that had begun in the last day or so. Shyly, Riku held him around the waist.

Neither said anything for several minutes.

"Sora?"

Sora made a soft sound of recognition.

"I'm really sorry if I freaked you out or anything last night. I just... I couldn't take it any more, I guess. It felt like I'd spent all this time wondering. Wasted all that time. And if I didn't do anything about it I would go crazy from not knowing. It just sort of happened. I was so worried you would hate me. And when you left all of a sudden like that on the beach.. I really did think you didn't like me like that. I was scared 'cause... never mind. It's stupid."

"No," Sora whined in to Riku's shoulder. "You can tell me. I probably won't laugh much."

Feigning insultment, Riku pushed him away, catching him off guard and causing him to fall sideways on to the sand. Riku pulled himself over Sora, planting one arm on either side of his head for support. His long hair hung down, ticking Sora's nose slightly.

"You really wanna know? I was scared because, now that I might have you, I don't want to lose you."

Insecure Riku, meet Sora. Here was Riku, showing his feelings openly. Here was Riku, admitting that he needed him. Part of Sora was overfilling with warmth, his heart wanted to burst. Riku felt the same way he did. It hadn't been a dream, hadn't just been a game. Riku wasn't just messing around with him.

Then, to ruin the moment, the rest of the day came back to him. Destiny whispered a warning in his ear. If Riku felt the same then he had to go with Roxas. If they stayed together it would only ruin everything they had before. He had to leave the island, for Kairi. Before he found himself to deep in to this relationship to get out. He would only get hurt more.

He knew if he didn't do it now, he never would. He opened his mouth to explain, ready to push Riku off him.

His blue eyes took in Riku's blushing, embarrassed face. The boy was simply radiating happiness. His green eyes reflected Sora. Riku was as close to being in heaven as a mortal could get before he died.

Yet Sora was about to shatter that world.

He sucked in air... steadied his breathing...

"I need you to, Riku. I would never leave you." His soft, small hand found it's way to Riku's cheek, magnetizing the boy toward him, their lips meeting once again.

This time Sora recognized the passion in the affection, but couldn't feel it. His whole body had gone numb.

What had just happened? Why had he not said what he needed to.

Instead of saying what he had to, he had said what he had felt. How could he leave now, after telling Riku that?

He knew he had to leave though. Roxas was counting on him to help, even if he hadn't said so out loud, exactly. He had just made things even worse, after all, he had already made up his mind. Roxas might even know that. They partially shared the same thoughts.

Destiny... not Riku, remember?

A tear rolled from his eye, making a course down the side of his face, hitting the sand soundlessly. He wiped it away fiercely, brushing against Riku's cheek in the process. The boy stopped kissing him, then rolled off of him in to the sand, frowning slightly.

"Sora...you're crying! Am I that bad of a kisser?"

Sora shook his head, forcing himself to stop crying. It seemed to work. He sniffled once then sat up, biting his lip. He shook his head.

"No... it's nothing. I'm just happy. That's all."

Mentally slapping himself as a reminder that he was leaving for their own good, Sora put on a weak smile. He couldn't keep lying to Riku. The whole thing was just so confusing. Even if he knew it was wrong, things just felt perfect while he was with Riku.

Who was Roxas to just wonder in on his life like that, accuse him of killing Axel, then ask him to pick up and leave his real friends behind? Now he was angry, but it didn't matter any more. Yes. Roxas was in need of a friend, of help. But asking him to leave Riku was too much.

Forget it.

Screw destiny, he was staying right here. On this beach, with this silver haired boy in need of a haircut.

'He hates me. He just doesn't want to show it...'

Riku was on the edge of insanity as he stared down at Sora. His facial expressions had changed dramatically. Only a second ago he had been crying, now he looked almost... angry.

He wished he could read minds. Sora displayed his emotions openly, but not what he was actually thinking. There was a huge difference. Just because one gesture looked a certain way didn't really always mean that that was the thought behind it.

He wondered if it was something he had done. Really, this wasn't a wide assumption. After all, he was alone on the beach with Sora. As in, there was no one else around. Had he scared him off with his confession? He hadn't meant to say so much, it had just come pouring out. He couldn't stop it any more then he could stop rain from falling. It was probably to much emotion, to fast, to soon for the boy. But... that didn't explain why he was angry...

Or sad. Unless he just didn't want to hurt Riku by rejecting him. Their first kiss had forced both of them in to an awkward situation. He knew Sora cared deeply about him as a friend. A romantic sense was an entirely different thing though.

He knew he loved Sora, although he would never tell him that. Not yet. Not until he was really certain about Sora's feelings. Telling him he loved him would just scare him away. This wasn't just an assumption, either. The intensity of his feelings was scaring himself. If he couldn't deal with it totally, how could one at the receiving end feel?

If he had said he was happy, then why did he look so angry?

He extended his hand toward Sora, helping him sit up. "You sure?"

Sora nodded slowly. "I'm fine. It's nothing. I was just thinking... never mind."

He shook his head, pleading with his eyes for Riku not to ask any more questions.

"Riku...?"

Sora's voice was like a child's' – innocent, soft and full of curiosity. The boys' gentle vocals was one of the numerous things that had always drawn Riku to him. A voice like that begged for you to protect it's innocence, to watch over it so it was never replaced by hardness. Should a harsh tone ever enter that voice, he knew it was serious. He loved that voice, and the boy that belonged to it. He knew he would give his life if it meant that the words formed by Sora's lips stayed carefree and gentle.

"Riku, do you believe in destiny?"

His worlds were spaced apart, as if he couldn't quite decide how to word his thoughts.

Riku looked at him, musing at the spontaneity of the question. He had so many feelings about that particular inquiry that he didn't know how to answer it properly. The truth was he did believe in destiny. He believed that one person was meant to be with another. That particular person was the only other that someone needed. Sadly, he doubted many people found that person. Their paths may cross, but they wouldn't understand the event until it was to late. Destiny ruined people as well as saving them. If you got to caught up in it, it would ruin your life. After all, you still had free will. Destiny was like fate. Destiny was what was meant to happen. But he knew that what was meant to take place didn't always. This was a depressing thought. He hated it passionately, but there it was. There was his belief.

He nodded to Sora affirmatively, reluctant to place his negative views in Sora's young mind. Protecting him.

"What if you don't like your destiny?"

Riku's soft green eyes swirled with confusion. What was Sora getting at?

Oh no! What if he was trying to tell him that what they had now was wrong? How could he think that? How could he even suggest it? He needed Sora! Sora, the only one who understood him...

'Calm down. You're getting ahead of yourself.'

He bit his lip as a reminder.

"It's still destiny, isn't it? How do you know you won't be happy with what happens in the end? If something looks bad right now, that doesn't show how it will look in the future. Just because something feels wrong doesn't mean it always will. It's your destiny for a reason. Things work out in the end."

He blinked. That was an oddly optimistic outlook from him. Okay...so he was just saying that because he needed to convince Sora that what they had wasn't a bad thing.

Of course... Sora had to know that, right? If Sora didn't want to be here, he wouldn't. Sora was sensitive, aware of other people's hearts, but he wasn't a push-over. If he really didn't want something, he would speak up. Sora was in control of his life, even if it sometimes seemed to him like he wasn't. Sora would have pushed him away if he had wanted to.

Dimly, Riku became aware of the fact that he was fidgeting nervously with Sora's small hand. He stopped, pulling it toward him and kissing it gently. A pale pink colour flushed in Sora's cheeks as he did so, cause Riku to break in to a grin of delight. The boy was just so nearly unbearably cute.

How could he not have fallen in love? He was powerless against Sora. Always had been.

"Just follow your heart, lover. "

He leaned over and kissed him briefly before pulling away.

To Riku, it felt like they were the only two one the island, even with Kairi off on her own somewhere. Their eyes meant and that familiar communication flared up between them. Never had they needed words to speak to each other. Their eyes said everything that was needed.

And right now Sora's sapphire eyes told him that he would do just that.

A/N: It's so hot out right now that it's pretty much impossible to think properly during that day. That means I have to write mostly at night. I've stopped staying up super late though because I realized I actually like morning. I know, wow... So because of this, updates may start to take al little while longer. But I promise you, I will make sure I end this someday, so please, PLEASE don't lose interest or anything like that. (Yes, I know, paranoia...)It's become my project. I am attached to it and won't let myself not finish it. Thank you so much for reading, again.


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter 6

Nearing the end of daylight hours, the sun cast a fiery yellow shadow across the ocean at its feet. The waves of the water rippled it's reflection poetically as they crashed in to the shore, carving out the grainy sand that created the beginning of Destiny Island. Further up the sand, away from the wet grasp of the water, Sora sat with another boy, their fingers intertwined tightly. The boy was whispering sweet words meant only for Sora, words that caused his heart to beat faster, his lips to smile, and his mind to race.

From his view leaning against a tall, thick tree shielding him from the eyes of the two on the beach, Roxas watching, contemplating the situation. Although he had never personally met him, he was sure that the boy with silver hair was Riku. He wouldn't have had to been watching the romance unfold beneath him to understand what they had. Sora's feelings were so intense he could feel them in his own soul. Even if Sora didn't recognize what those emotions were exactly, he did. Sora loved that boy whispering in his ears. Roxas knew not just because he was still partially connected to Sora, but because he remembered having an identical feeling before.

Axel...

Jealousy coursed through him, nearly affecting him physically, nearly causing him to have to sit, just so he didn't lose his balance. It wasn't fair. Sora shouldn't be the only one with the happy ending. What about him and Axel? Didn't they deserve all that? Who was Sora to think that he could get away with what he had done?

Directly or indirectly, it was his fault Axel had disappeared. Not died. Disappeared. Instinct told Roxas that he would know, somehow, in his heart if Axel was really gone. It might have sounded crazy if he had said it out loud, but that's just because anyone who heard it would not understand. He and Axel had that much of a connection. He knew he wasn't imagining it either, knew the sparks between them was not just wishful thinking on his part. He was beginning to see signs of that same love between Sora and Riku.

But what right did they have to be happy? They had everything they needed in the world now. Everything. His meeting with Roxas was probably the furthest thing from Sora's mind right now. He would bet his life on it.

On the other hand, what did the Nobody have? Nothing and no one. He was all alone in the world with nothing left but bitterness, anger and that sharp pain of longing stabbing him constantly. He had never asked for much, and now what he had asked for was taken away from him. Destiny had not been kind to him.

Regret flowed through is body. His last meeting with Axel. Axel had been so angry. Angry because Roxas had forgotten about him. Angry because he had spent so much time trying to find him and when he did he hadn't even remember who he was... They had fought, tears threatening his eyes as he was forced to defend himself from his best friend.

"_So you really remember me now? Well... it's to late!"_

Given that chance, he would have explained that his memory lose wasn't his fault. Maybe if he had realized how much Axel cared, he never would have left the Organization. He wouldn't have needed to. There was no point in searching for something you already had. He had been so cruel to Axel. So cruelly unaware of his feelings. And now that he knew... now that he understood himself... Axel was gone. He wouldn't be surprised if Axel hated him now. The emotional pain it must have caused. Loving someone so much, but unable to hold them, stripped of the ability to even act on it. All because the one you loved was clueless, wrapped up in himself.

He wished he could apologize. Wished he could explain that he had to search for something to realize he already had it. Now, he had to go searching again. So he could say sorry. So he could be forgiven.

His mind teetered on the borderline of possibilities. In one scenario, Axel would be so ecstatic to see Roxas that he would forgive him and they would be together. Fall in love. In another, darker one, the red-head would hate him and refuse to give him a second chance. This was possible, likely. How could anyone be hurt that much and still find forgiveness? Would he be able to do that, if there positions were reversed?

Yes. He knew he would forgive Axel for anything he did, no matter how terrible.

The prospect of Axel actually having died crossed his mind for the barest of seconds. He pushed it away stubbornly. Axel wasn't dead. He couldn't be. There was nothing without Axel.

What if it really was to late? What if Axel did hate him now? What would be the point in searching for him only to be rejected, as he believed he rightfully deserved? How could his actions be forgiven? What if Axel was happier without him there? Maybe he had found someone who had known about, acknowledged, his feelings? What if he didn't need Roxas in his life anymore?

A tear fell to the ground, slipping from his blue eyes, soaking in to the dirt at his feet. Another one replaced it, following it's predecessor down it's path on his cheek. Annoyed, Roxas wiped it away before it his the ground, refusing to let himself cry. Getting openly emotional over this would only make things more difficult.

What if it was a good thing that Sora had Riku, attaching him to this island, barring him from going? Maybe it was a sign that he should abandon the very idea of searching for Axel. He was a big enough man to admit that he was incapable of doing so by himself. He needed someone with knowledge of the other worlds, knowledge of the preparations needed. Someone who was fearless and competent. Sora was every inch that man. Without him, nothing could take place.

Sora saw what happened to Axel. Roxas has seen it, briefly, when he had first shown Sora his memories in while he was sleeping. Sora had been dreaming of the incident at the time. His vulnerability to the situation was probably the factor that had made showing Sora the memories possible. Not that it mattered. Roxas didn't care about the mechanics of what he had shown Sora. All he cared about was that he had gotten his message across. That Sora understood just how much Axel meant to him.

He would never admit it to another living soul... but part of him had also wanted to guilt Sora in to helping him. He had wanted to play to the good Samaritan in Sora's heart.

And it would have worked, had there not been an unexpected variable in the equation. Riku. He had expected hesitance on his part. Asking him to leave his friends after he had just gotten back home was a huge thing, he knew that. He had hoped that Sora would understand though. Sora knew he would be coming back. It was a simple task. Find Axel. Come back home. No danger involved.

He had long been aware of Sora's feelings for Riku, but he hadn't known it was mutual.

It wasn't fair! Here he was, alone in the middle of a strange island, watching two lovers on the beach like a stalker, wishing he could be with the one _he _loved. He wasn't asking much of Sora, a few days, maybe a bit more, of his time. But no. He couldn't even get that.

Hot, salty tears of anger were pouring down his cheeks now. He let them, let himself get angry. Opened all the doors he had slammed shut. Let all the pain, fear, hurt, regret, anger flow through him as he tried to think.

He wasn't trying to ruin Sora's life, if that's what he thought. He was happy for him. Honestly, he was. But he needed Sora to be the good person he was and help out the other half of his being. Then he could go back to the island, be with Riku, and everyone could have their happy endings. Because honestly, he was happy they had each other.

Then it hit him.

If Sora hadn't made a final decision yet, Riku may not be aware of the conversation between the two boys earlier. As Sora had decided not to go, he may not even have mentioned it to Riku at all. No doubt however, when he had first seen Riku, it would have been heavy on his mind. He may have even been weighing his words, trying to figure out how to tell his lover he was leaving with Roxas. He would possibly have been acting slightly off. The deduction was common sense. When faced with a decision that might impact the lives of those around, one tends to act strangely.

Assuming Riku _was_ clueless about the situation...

Assuming Sora had made up his mind not to bring it up...

All Roxas had to do was change Sora's mind for him. It was a terrible thing to do. An evil, shady, shallow, despicable act that would in all likelihood earn him a position in the lowest pit of hell intention to even consider. But he had to do it. It wouldn't ruin everything for the two boys. He had a conscience, he wasn't a bad person. Just desperate enough to do things he knew might turn out badly for the ones involved...at his wits end, with no where else to turn.

As wrong as it was, at immoral as it would make him seem, he had to do it.

He had to drive a big enough wedge between them that Sora would want to leave. Just to get away. Wanted to get away so bad that he would leave with his Nobody, even if he hated him.

And there was no avoiding it. After this, Sora would hate Roxas.

With a plot fully formed in his mind, Roxas allowed himself to sink to the ground, leaning his back against the trunk of a tree, waiting. The sun was now beginning it's descent below the horizon. The two boys still lay in each others arms, casting one long, thin shadow on the sand behind them. They seemed to be just talking quietly about idle things that didn't really mattered. Vaguely, Roxas wondered what, but soon realized he was to angry to really care.

His anger had managed to dissipate any feelings of guilt about what he was going to do. He was doing it for the right reasons, so what was there to feel guilty about? If in the end, everything worked out, he would have done nothing wrong.

Tear apart the two lovers for a short amount of time, causing Sora to want to go with Roxas, then they would search. The rest would fall in to place like dominoes. The end justified the means.

While waiting for the opportune moment, he mused over several ways of going about his plan. There were countless approaches to such a scheme. All he had to do was pick his favorite. The one that he felt would be the best to suit his needs. He ran over what he had to say in his head, rehearsing for the opening act. He had to make himself sound a certain way, to act a certain way. To not betray his true intentions. He took a deep breath, reassuring himself that he could pull this off without fault. He had the strategy laid out perfectly in his head. He was ready.

Now all he had to do was wait for a chance to get Riku on his own.

"Hey, Sora?" Riku whispered in to his soft brown hair, "Do you think we should be getting back?"

Sora stirred, opening one eye lazily to look up at him. "I don't wanna move though..." He whined, his tone reminding Riku of a tired little child.

He smiled at this, stroking Sora's hair, again aware of just how adorable the boy in his arms was. How innocent.

"You know... Kairi's going to start missing us soon. I told her I came down here to look for you, but that was a couple hours ago. She's probably worried. "

Groaning slightly at the thought of moving, Sora opened both his eyes, rubbing them tiredly with his fists.

"Mmmm..Okay. Let's go." Sora detached himself from Riku's grasp and stood up, stretching. He offered his hand to Riku, helping him up.

Sora smiled to himself as Riku grasped his hand. He had made the right choice to stay here, he really had. Riku had told him to follow his heart, and without being aware there was even a problem, he had solved it for him. His heart told him that he wanted to be with Riku, even if it meant ruining destiny. His head told him to go with Roxas because being with Riku was wrong, but he was following his heart this time. It had never once lead him astray, so who was he to stop trusting it now. Even if he wasn't making the right choice, he was choosing what made him happy. He was choosing what he truly wanted, even if part of him still thought it wasn't supposed to be like that. Things would work themselves out. He was choosing what he wanted.

He wondered if Roxas would understand that. He would have to. He knew it would probably hurt him, but he would have to understand. He wasn't quite sure why Roxas needed him in the first place. Surely, he could find Axel on his own, right? All that was left to do was explain to Roxas why he couldn't go, wish him good luck, and then the whole thing would be over. Roxas would either find Axel, or realize he was dead. Either way, the boy would finally be put to peace.

A part of him still wanted to help. It would only take a while. A huge part of him wanted to be there for him if Axel really was dead. If that turned out to be the case, he would make sure Roxas knew he was welcome at Destiny Island. Sora was his other half, his shoulder to cry on, should he need one. When he explained to Roxas why he couldn't leave Riku or Kairi, he would make sure he knew that he was there for him, but he was strong enough to go on this mission on his own. It was his mission, after all. Not Sora's.

He was sure Roxas was still somewhere on the island, and that it wouldn't he wouldn't be making himself difficult to find. He should close this before going to bed so he didn't stay up thinking about it all night.

"Riku?" He tugged on his hand, stopping him. "Keep walking, okay? There's something I have to do, and I'll explain later. I'll be up there in a little bit."

Riku turned around, mid-step, to look at him. "Is something wrong?" His eyes shone with worry, his hand not letting go of Sora's.

Sora shook his head, flattered by Riku's obvious concern for him. He stepped forward, standing on the tips of his toes to kiss Riku gently on the lips.

"I'll explain when I get back, so don't worry about me. Just tell Kairi what I told you."

Riku pulled him in to a tight embrace, kissed him on the forehead, then nodded. "Don't stay out to late. You don't want me to have to come find you again, do you?" He added teasingly before pulling away.

Sora smiled flirtatiously. "No, I wouldn't want that at all."

With a wave, they parted, Riku continuing up the beach, Sora heading toward the darkness of the forest.

Roxas watched the two boys part and prepared himself. Even with the sound muted because of the distance between him and them, he had a distinct feeling that he could hear what they were talking about. At least, he could guess at it safely the instant he saw Sora walking toward the forest. Presumably, he was coming to find him and tell him he could forget about finding Axel.

He wasn't going to let that happen tonight, however. Riku was alone. Here was his chance.

He set off at an evenly paced sprint, ducking along the edge of the trees, careful to use the foliage to shield himself for Sora's view. He cut through the underbrush, making his way to Riku. A branch, dry and brittle, snapped off in his wake, leaving a thin red cut on his lower arm. Through the trees, he could see flashed of the setting sun. It's beauty was almost enough to make him pause, just to watch. Still, he ran, promising himself that if he ever found Axel, he would watch the setting sun with him a thousand times.

When he drew level with Riku, he slowed his gait, licking his thumb and wiping the blood from his cut as he did so.

He prayed Sora wasn't aware of his presence. He prayed that the feeling of doubt forming in his mind was unfounded. He prayed this would work out favorably. Briefly, he considered just forgetting about this rotten plan. He had to go through with it though. Time to put his plan to action.

He strolled out of the trees in from of Riku, carefully arranging his face in to a mask of pity. He stuck out his hand, aware that every motion he was performing felt animated.

"Riku."

Startled, Riku looked at him, his eyebrow furrowed.

"Do I know you?" He directed his words bluntly. Riku had never been the type of person to warm up to strangers easily. Especially when said stranger just emerged from a bush where he could have been watching him. One strike against him already. The next was that this man knew is name before they had even met. Even in the most friendly of people, that one always raised suspicion. Basically because it was just creepy.

"Well, not _me_ in particular, but...you know Sora."

Riku raised his eyebrow, crossing his arms. "Look. I'm not in the mood for guessing games. Sneaking around in bushes then just popping up and expecting me to know your name is not a way to get on my good side." His voice dripped with distaste.

Roxas blinked, he hadn't expected Riku to be so blunt. Everything Sora thought about Riku made him seem like a saint, someone who would never say anything rude. He had to admit to himself that he found himself admiring Riku for his honesty. He doubted he could ever be that outright honest with someone he had just met. He suspected a lot of that was connected to Sora's conscience. Still... Riku and Sora were complete opposites. It was amazing they could be friends, never mind lovers.

He shook himself. 'Don't forget what you came here to do. Pissing him off isn't a good way to go about this...'

"Sorry. I'm Roxas."

Riku nodded, unimpressed. Distrust filled his eyes. "Alright. So tell me then, _Roxas_, why are you here?"

He refused to trust this guy, even if he could clearly feel Sora. If he looked hard enough, he could imagine it was Sora behind those eyes, instead of this Nobody. That didn't atomatically allow him to gain his trust. He didn't like the dreams he had shown Sora. He didn't like that he had hurt Sora by showing them to him. And now he had shown up, unexpected, at their home. Did Sora know he was here?

"I think we should go for a walk, find somewhere to sit down. I've got some things to tell you."

"Whatever you have to say, it can be said just as well right here."

Roxas nodded, praying this would work.

"I talked to Sora today."

Riku grunted, his arms still crossed. "Wow. So did I. Want a medal?"

"I want him to come help me find Axel. It's his fault he's gone to begin with."

Riku's arms dropped, his eyes closed. Slightly confused, he walked toward the forest, leaning against a tree for support. What was going on? Axel was dead. Sora told him what had happened.

"Axel's dead and it's not Sora's fault. What the hell are you talking about?"

Roxas shook his head, looking straight in to Riku's eyes. A slight wind had picked up, combing through Riku's hair, separating the strands.

"Axel isn't dead. I know he's not, and I'm going to look for him. Sora is coming with me."

Riku glared at Roxas coldly. Never mind that he reminded him of the man he loved, he hated this guy right now. He was obviously lying. Sora would have said something if he had really been planning to leave. He wouldn't hide something like this from him. Slowly, piece by piece, Sora's weird behavior at the beach swam back in to his mind. He had seemed so upset about something. Could this be it? Was he really planning to leave?

"He didn't say anything about that to me. He would have."

Roxas repeated the motion of shaking his head. Time to pull out his ace. He hesitated for a second. He was doing something terrible. This could very well ruin things for Sora and Riku. He didn't want that responsibility on his shoulders. He was stuck now, however. Part of him was willing to do anything to find Axel, no matter how low it was. He was desperate enough to listen to that part.

"Sora and I are, basically, the same person. You know that. Sometimes, when I'm close to him, I can feel what he feels. Riku, I think he's leaving because of you."

With that statement, he was gambling. To him, Riku seemed like the type of guy who needed other peoples feelings for him to be reassured. By telling him that he could feel what Sora felt, which wasn't a lie, then telling him that line, it was sure to cast doubt in to his mind. Doubt was good. Doubt would make them fight. Doubt would make Sora leave.

He knew telling Riku that Sora was leaving because of him was an outright lie. Sora loved Riku, that much was obvious. Still, there was some tension in his mind, he didn't have to know his thoughts to see it in his actions. Sora was still hesitant about his new relationship. His feelings probably scared him. Roxas recognized that from his own actions when he had finally understood his feelings for Axel. He would be hesitating.. wondering if he was doing the right thing or not.

He would use that to his advantage.

The rest was all up to Riku...

Riku was gazing at him, a hurt expression clouding his sharp features. "You're joking, right?"

"No. He didn't say it, but I can just tell. He wants to leave so he can figure out things. He's not sure he wants to be with you. That scares him because he cares about you, so he doesn't want to hurt you."

Riku ran a hand through his lustrous hair, trying to tame the wind running through it. There was no mistaking the pained look on his face. Disbelief was still hiding beneath the surface, but Roxas' words had found their mark. They had cut.

He had to be lying. He just had to be. Here it was, his worst fear, starting to manifest itself in front of him. Even the suggestion of Sora not wanted to be with him was breaking his heart.

'No!' He demanded inwardly. He wasn't going to believe it. It wasn't true. No one knew about him and Sora, so how could anyone... but, Roxas _did_ know. Somehow, Roxas knew. Sora wouldn't have told him. He was the one who was so scared of anyone else finding out. To go and tell someone would make him a hypocrite. He reminded himself that Roxas was a part of Sora. What if his words really had some truth to them?

'Calm down. Take a deep breath. Figure this out before jumping to conclusions.'

"Why wouldn't he tell me he was leaving? I was just with him. He would have brought it up."

Roxas was prepared for that question.

"Not if he didn't know how to tell you. I thought I should warn you beforehand. I mean... it may not be anything. You shouldn't worry about it. It's just... I know Sora doesn't want to hurt you, and I could be all wrong, but just in case, I wanted to prepare you. "

"I still don't believe you." Riku managed to muster his coldest voice, sharpening it's edge.

"I came to Sora earlier today, when he was alone in the forest. I told him I wanted to find Axel, and that I needed his help. I can't do it without him, and I have to find Axel. He thought about it for awhile, and then decided he'd come. He didn't say why, exactly, but I could tell he was having some deep thoughts."

There! Riku sighed with relief. Roxas could be totally wrong. Sora was just helping him because he was a good person. It had nothing to do with him not returning his feelings. He knew he would have to talk to Sora. He should have told him what was going on instead of keeping him in the dark. He had to find out what was really going on. He was tired of listening to Roxas' telling him what Sora was thinking. The sooner he found out if he was being lied to, the better.

He pushed himself away from the tree, surprised to find himself still slightly unbalanced on his feet. Steadying himself, he stood tall, ready to leave.

"Alright. Thank you for your concern, but I think I can deal with this myself. For future reference, I'm stronger then you think. I don't need a warning that might not even mean anything, okay? I'm leaving."

Had he done it? Was it just his imagination, or did Riku still seem hurt? From here on out, he wasn't sure what would happen. As long as it lead to them fighting, he didn't even care. It was in fates hands now.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew the chances of such a plan working were so slim that they couldn't be seen when turned sideways. Still, at least there was a chance.

"Riku?"

He spoke to his retreating back, waiting for his full attention before continuing.

"Just remember, if you hold something to tight, it has a tendency to slip away."

Riku ignored his words and kept walking. If there was even a little bit of fact to the conversation he had just had, he would find out now. He had to get everything out in the open before he lost his nerve. He had to find Sora.

A/N: Well.. I feel like a total bitch. Honestly... I've almost made myself hate Roxas. Just remember people, he's desperate. He loves Axel. He's not a bad person. Did I make him a bad person? Am I a bad person for doing this to them? Don't answer that.  
Anyway, I've set the deadline for myself for next chapter. It should be finished by Thursday, if not then, it will _definitely_ be up by Sunday. (30 hour Famine on Friday, won't be able to write then or most of Saturday)

So, tell me what you think. Hope I can keep you reading.

_-Yavi_

_xoxo_


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter 7

"Roxas!"

Sora wandered through the trees, no particular destination in mind. His hands to his mouth to amplify sound, he repeatedly called the name of the one he was searching for. With every attempt to get his query's attention, he grew more and more impatient. The faster he got this over with, the faster he could be back with Riku, and Kairi, too. The ever growing darkness was beginning to impede his vision, adding another difficulty to what should have been a simple search. Thankfully, having been here as long as he could remember, he knew the paths through the forest like the back of his hand.

He called his name again, frustrated. For someone who was waiting for an answer, he was sure making himself scarce. It was getting chilly out, the warm summer air moving away in the absence of the sun. He rubbed his arms with a gloved hand, trying to get rid of the small goose bumps forming there. If he thought he would be able to sleep tonight without accomplishing this, he would have left already. But no, he knew that if he didn't make his decision final, he would lay awake all night, drifting between his options, second-guessing his choice to stay. He wanted to help Roxas, and a part of him wanted an adventure. One last adventure without danger.

He was staying to be with Riku. Despite his mind, screaming at him, reminding him that he had a destiny with a certain auburn haired girl to fulfil, he was following his heart. After he explained this, he would go back and tell Riku he was staying for him. Tell him that, even though a part of him knew it was wrong, he was staying because he wanted to. He wanted to be with Riku. A sense of adventure, destiny, and the other half of his mortal existence wasn't going to decide different for him.

Sora looked around, his eyes gradually starting to adjust to the dimming light. He found himself back at the clearing with the boulder. Back where he had been when this all started. Possibly, if Roxas had any sense of courtesy, he would be waiting here.

"Roxas?"

The wind blew, sweeping his spiky hair in front of his eyes in reply. The silence told him that he was the only one here. No one was waiting for him in this particular corner of the world.

Time to retrace his steps. Sighing with a pang of annoyance, he headed back toward the beach. Here, away from the cloak of leaves, at least he could see. Roxas had to be somewhere around here. There was no way he would just disappear. His whole world seemed to be waiting on finding Axel. He wouldn't just leave. This was seriously rude of him.

The setting sun reflected of the small crystals of sand like a mirror. They glinted in the light. The ocean was calm, save for a small wave caused by the barely noticeable wind that had picked up. Along the beach, far enough away that only a slim black silhouette could be made out, someone stood. Their figure was distinctly male, his long hair waving back and forth in the wind. Whoever it was seemed to be staring out at the still water, unaware of the outside world.

Despite the distance between the two, Sora knew who this figure was. The tall, confident way he stood gave it away.

Riku.

What, exactly he was doing down _here_ while he was supposed to be up _there_ with Kairi, was yet to be determined, but would be at length. Glad to see him, and welcoming the excuse to put off looking for the absent Roxas, Sora broke in to a slow jog, yelling his name as he went.

"Hey! Surprise seeing you around here, stranger." Sora smiled as Riku turned around to see who had intruded upon his thoughts. Sora reached out both his arms, embracing him tightly around the neck.

Riku took a step back, removing Sora's hands with his own. He didn't show any of his usual signs of warm welcome. His jade eyes held none of their usual passion, instead the emotion in them was replaced with hurt. He grasped Sora's hand in his own, holding them up for a second before letting them go, his eyes never leaving Sora's.

"Riku?"

Sora's voice crescendoed in to a question mark with confusion. This wasn't normal and it scared him. He bit his lip, trying to keep himself from pouring forward every thought that was on his mind right now. Something told him to wait for Riku to speak before he said anything else.

The pale haired boy simply stared at him for awhile, his eyes taking in every detail of the younger boy. After a minute or so, he closed his eyes, sighing. Then, unexpectedly, his thoughts came pouring forth.

"What did I do to make you want to leave?"

Sora stared, expecting anything but this. It was so sudden, so random.

"What are you talking about?"

Riku averted his eyes, looking instead at the ground under his feet. His voice was muffled, barely a whisper. "You, leaving. Just tell me what I did, Sora, tell me what's going on. Please."

He was begging, pleading. All he wanted in the world was to set things right. All he wanted was to know if he was loved. He was a boy yearning for affection, scared he wasn't going to get it. Scared that something good was slipping from his grasp, just when he had gotten a taste for it.

"I understand, you want to help Roxas. You wouldn't be you if you didn't. I don't get it though, Roxas told me-"

"Wait." Sora cut him off, angry and confused. How had he found out about that? "I thought about going with Roxas, but I'm staying here. You told me to follow my heart and that's what I'm doing."

Riku looked up at him, his mouth slightly open, his eyes narrowed in befuddlement. "I... Roxas told me you were going with him."

Sora ran an hand through his hair, then looked out at the ocean, frustrated. He trusted Roxas. He didn't believe he was the type of person to do anything sly or underhanded just to get his way. Sure, he barely knew who Roxas was, but he couldn't believe he would do something like this. The edges of the puzzle didn't match. Even if the sandy haired boy would do something like that, he could see no plot here. Who would be stupid enough to think that just by creating a tale of fiction, one could make it truth? Roxas may be a million things Sora didn't know, but he wasn't dumb.

He was however, obviously a liar.

Riku had obviously been told things that troubled him. First and foremost, he had to comfort him. Riku was insecure, try as he might to hide it. He doubted himself a lot and was easily manipulated, thus causing his general mistrust for people. As a friend, Sora hated seeing him like this. As a lover, it hurt to know he had involuntarily caused it.

"I was on my way to find Roxas, so I could tell him I couldn't go."

Riku crossed his arms, shooting Sora an indecipherable expression.

"You could have talked to me about it first." An undercurrent of injury ran through his vocalization.

"I had to decide this on my own. I was going to tell you after I told Roxas what was going on. I know I should help him, but I want to stay here with you and Kairi."

Sora watched the water lap at the shore, leaving it's mark in the sand as in went back in to the ocean.

Riku nodded, smiled slightly. Internally, he was resisting the urge to run to Sora and hold him in his arms, leaving the whole situation forgotten. He wished he had the power to do that, wished his mind would just throw doubts aside and let whatever fate willed to happen, happen. He craved for a heart that didn't need total security to make things alright. A heart that wasn't scared to risk getting hurt, as long as he was happy for a little while. He wished he could trust easily, that his thoughts were never evil. The desire for a heart that didn't need to protect itself all the time was unimaginable.

But he had never been that person. He could never be that person, and so, he had to know. He had to ask.

"You saw Roxas's memories, right? You felt what he felt?"

Sora signaled positively to show that statement was correct.

"When you're around Roxas, do you ever feel what he's feeling? Can you tell what his emotions are at the moment? Not the one's he's showing. His real emotions. The ones on the inside."

The youth considered this for a moment, then nodded slowly, dubiously. "Sometimes I think I can. Mind telling me where you're going with this?" Seeing Riku, a boy habitually straight to the point, like this, alarmed him.

Riku cast his eyes downward, doing everything possible to elude from meeting his gaze. "So it is true then..." He muttered, more to himself then anyone else present.

"You didn't ever consider leaving because of what's happened between us, did you? Not even a little bit?" His voice was soft, barely above a whisper. It seemed as though he had to force the words out, like him mind was trying it's hardest to keep them within, but he had to know, he had to ask.

The brunette bit his pale pink lip, showing a sliver of straight, white teeth. "Riku I-"

The older of the pair took a deep breath before cutting him off. "Roxas said he believed that I might be the reason. I didn't believe him at first, but he said he knew because he could feel it. You just told me you feel what he feels. Maybe...maybe he wasn't lying."

Sora stuttered, unsure of what to say. He knew he should tell Riku the truth. Honesty was the only way a relationship could work, and every fiber of his being wanted this one to work. If he lied now, who could say what it would build up to? As protective of his feelings as he was, Riku had opened his heart to Sora, completely conscious of that possibility of getting hurt.

He took a deep breath, painfully aware of the sense of everything falling out of place. He had lied to Riku before, when he had been seriously considering abandoning the potential of everything they could ever have. He was an honest person, he had to confess. The weight of it would always be there, dragging him down, casting doubt on his thoughts, if he didn't. If he didn't let it out, it would sit there, growing, and he would never know if he had done the right thing by not speaking his thoughts. By letting them out, he could let them go.

Then, with a little luck, everything would fit together perfectly and never fall apart.

'Please don't let Riku hate me for this...'

He took another breath in preparation, held it for one hesitant moment, then exhaled as the lack of oxygen began to make him feel light-headed. Time to let out all the uncertainties that had plagued his thoughts since the previous night.

"Riku... I-I need you to understand, I thought I liked you for a really long time. Maybe even before we came back to the island."

"Thought?"

"I guess the thought of thinking of you as more then a friend scared me. I tried to ignore it for a really, really long time. The thing was... you seemed to return the feeling. Lately, you haven't been shy about it either. The feelings I got whenever you were near me... flirting with me... made it impossible to forget about you. Impossible for me to just consider you my best friend. And then last night, you kiss me and that scared me. Scared me because I liked it, and because I knew I wanted to try to have something with you. But then, when I was all alone, I started to think..."

Sora paused as his voice hitched in his throat. What if he was making a fatal mistake?

"It seems like so long ago, when I gave Kairi the Paopu fruit. I guess maybe it wasn't, only a little over a year. I gave it to her because I loved her and I wanted her to be with me forever. I was young. Nothing's really changed there. I can't imagine life without Kairi. I can't imagine not being with her."

"What about me?"

Sora did a double take- had there really been a quiver in Riku's voice just now? Had his hand really just flown up to his eye, as if to wipe away an oncoming tear?

"Being with her is my destiny. It's the destiny I chose. When I thought of the future, I was with her. You were always there to, but as my best friend."

Riku interrupted him once again. "And that's how you still see it, right?"

Sora shook his head slowly. "When I started to acknowledge my feelings for you, I started to see myself with you. Then you finally made a move, and I knew that this new image of the future was the one I wanted. I also realized it could never be the one I end up with. I'm bound to Kairi by destiny, and I think a part of me still wants that."

" Which is why I considered going with Roxas. I thought that when I returned... you would have forgotten about me and things would go back to normal. When I was sitting on the beach with you though, you told me to follow my heart. Doing that means being with you and forgetting my destiny. Because maybe you _are_ my destiny. I want you to be, even if it is wrong."

Riku stared at him incredulously. "I loved you since we were kids. I just never did anything about it because it never even occurred to me that you would feel that same. We have a chance at something, and all you can tell me is that it's _wrong_? You're sending me so many mixed messages that I can't even tell what you're thinking anymore."

"I want a relationship with you, Riku." Sora's voice was quiet, strained. He had expected Riku to be hurt, but not angry. "I'm just scared to. I don't want to hurt Kairi."

The older boy gazed at him, his eyes flat, as if the emotion had been burned out of them. "Guess what? The sad truth is that one of us ends up hurt anyway."

Riku let it all out, everything that had come to him since Sora had admitted he was to ashamed to tell Kairi. It was the truth and, although it had never been spoken aloud, he was sure each and every one of them was aware of it. Impossible to avoid, but their fate no-the-less.

"Stop for a second, and count how many of us there are on this island. Three. An odd number. Meaning any two of us could end up falling in love and being together. If it's you and I, Kairi gets left alone. If it's you and Kairi, as your so-called destiny claims it will be, then I get hurt. Even you could end have ended up alone, if I had fallen for Kairi. One of us will end up being nothing more then the friend."

There. For as long as he could remember, this had worried him

"Luckily for you, it will be either Kairi or myself left in the cold. It's your choice. I can't force myself to love Kairi. Kairi wants to be with you anyway. And you," He stepped forward, touching Sora briefly on the cheek, before taking in his soft, vaguely feminine features. "You obviously have no clue _what_ you want. Kairi's you're destiny, you say. Where do I fall in to this then? Am I to be the one who ends up alone?"

He finished lamely, unable to control the wavering in his voice. He could feel his heart beat increasing. His breath caught in his throat and he held in there, to scared to make a sound. As much as it hurt, the silver-haired boy had to know the truth. If destiny was what Sora longed for, then he had to know. He could never be with someone who only loved him because Riku was so fragile he was afraid to shatter him.

As long as Sora got a happy ending, it didn't matter what happened to him. If Sora was happy, then it was all right. He had always suspected Kairi and Sora would be the ones to fall in love. He had never really minded because it meant Sora would be happy.

He just hadn't expected to ever get a taste of what being with Sora was like. Now he wasn't sure how he would feel if destiny ran his course. He wasn't sure he could let go of the only existence in all the worlds that was keeping him pure.

But he couldn't force him to stay, either.

In reply to his outburst of emotion, Sora let out a frustrated groan. "Did you hear a single _word_ of what I just said? I want a relationship with _you_. "

Stubbornly, Riku shook his head. "Yeah, I can really see that from the way you act." He held his words, as if expecting Sora to cut him off.

He continued. "You're ashamed of me, of us. If you had your way, you would hide our... " He searched for the right word. " overly-friendly relationship from everyone forever. You know why? Because you're scared Sora. You care to much about what people think, and if you _really _cared about me, you'd forget about all that. If you really cared about me, you would admit it to _everyone_ just because you wanted them to know. How can you expect me to believe you care when you're embarrassed by me?"

His words hung suspended in the air, unanswered in the shocked silence that followed. Riku angrily steadied his hand, this time allowing himself to show tears.

'_Don't brush them away. I want him to see me cry...'_

Gradually, his line of vision met with Sora's face in time to see him sigh with a mixture of hurt and exasperation.

"You know what?" Sora's voice had a hardened edge to it, a dead calm tone had replaced that passion once there. "You're right. No matter what happened in the end, someone gets hurt. I didn't want Kairi to know about It yet because you think I didn't realize that? You think I'm to stupid to know how she'll react?"

The brunette's voice shook once and he inhaled deeply to shake off the doubt in his mind. They were fighting, if not now, then they would be soon. If he kept talking, saying how he _really _felt, then he had no idea where his hurtful words would lead. With a stab of pain, he realized he didn't care if they fought. The knowledge of knowing that, at the moment, all he wanted in the world was to make Riku understand that way he saw him, scared him. He didn't want to be unkind.

There was just no other way.

"You know what I hear when you tell me you think you'll be the one to end up alone? I hear a clingy, selfish little boy saying that if he can't get what he wants, then no one else can."

Sora took a step forward, approaching the older boy.

"I would have chosen you, Riku. As much as it would hurt Kairi, I would have chosen you. And maybe... maybe I still will, because I'm just _crazy_ about you. Never mind that you're selfish, and spoiled and way too needy. I am just so in love you with that I don't care."

He exhaled, paused, then inhaled, giving his words time to sink in before continuing.

"You're right. I was ashamed of you. I shouldn't be gay, alright? I'm supposed to spend my entire life with Kairi. You're not Kairi. You're my best friend and I'm in love with you and that changes everything."

Flopping down on the cooling sand at his feet, unable to trust his shaking, unstable legs to support him any longer, Sora looked up at his best friend, finished his speech.

Both hated the utter drama of the moment, but knew it was to late to turn back time. Both grasped the understanding that too much had been said to just forget this had even happened.

Riku opened his mouth, snapped it shut, to stung by words to form a reply. The true power of Sora's confession was that every sentence was the truth. A selfish little boy who could never call himself a real man. That's all he was, just like he had always felt. But now, with the only person he could never live without pointing out his biggest flaw, he was to stunned to say anything.

Yet... even as he saw the truth, he couldn't control the small sliver of anger rising inside him. Here he was, laying his heart an soul out to Sora, admitting that nothing else mattered except him. It broke his heart to love the younger boy so much. It caused thick, pearly tears to form because even after everything, all he had gotten in return was a bitter-sweet answer. He hated Sora for not understanding that he couldn't live without him by his side.

He bit his lip, wishing furiously that he had never taken a leap of faith the previous night. Living with the uncertainty was like heaven compared to knowing the honest truth of Sora's feelings. He longed to have not asked, to have both of them remain ignorant of the others feelings. Things would never be that same again, they would never go back to the way they were.

All he wanted was to not have to live with the pain of knowing.

A/N: Um... not sure if any of you are really following this anymore.. but the important thing is that I **_finally _**finished this chapter. It's been sitting on my computer, about a page and a half way from being done for about a week now. So I finally forced myself to sit down and finish it... I hate writers block. Honestly, for any of you who really like this, I'm so sorry it took so long...I'll try to get the next one up soon.

Anyway, you know the drill by now. Read and review, cause comments keep me breathing.

_Yavi  
xoxo_


	8. Chapter Eight

I must say, thank you to all my reviewers, both the frequent and the new, as well as all you who have this story on alert. I wouldn't be continuing this without you guys. 3

Without further delay, I give you a long over-due update. (See the end of it for my usual droning authors notes. And an announcement of sorts.)

**Chapter 8**

Normalcy was restored to Riku's vitals as the shock of Sora's words was slowly absorbed. His heartbeat slowed as he processed everything going on in his mind. Only seconds ago, he would have given anything to just die, just to avoid the heartbreak. Now, almost of its own free will, he found his mouth opening, forming words; a task that had previous seemed impossible.

"Then stop thinking of me as your best friend."

Why did he have to love him? Why did Sora have to feel the same? Ignorance would have been bliss in this case, but it was to late now. Both boys were painfully aware of the others feelings.

Sora shot him an indecipherable look. "That isn't a solution."

Riku shook his head, disagreeing. "Look, if you only thought of me as a boyfriend, then it wouldn't be so confusing for you. You wouldn't have to worry about what would happen to our friendship if we ever broke up."

"You're forgetting that whole destiny thing. I can't hurt Kairi, how many times do-"

Riku thought for a second, reflecting back to the conversation with Kairi he had with her earlier that day on the beach. He hesitated, wondering if now was the right time to bring this up, painfully aware that it probably wasn't. Before he could stop himself however, it tumbled out of his mouth, regret drenching every word, as it was spoken, unable to reverse them. This was a pinnacle moment for them, but he wasn't sure he was ready.

"She already knows."

Hearing Riku's deep voice, Sora stopped mid-sentence, a slight shadow of annoyance at the interruption falling over his face. Then the full meaning of his words caught him, his features visibly falling. He stared at the silver haired boy in utter disbelief. This was betrayal, totally and completely. What they had was a _secret_. To willingly share it with the one person he had specifically asked that he didn't, that was betrayal.

How could he? _How could he?_

Of course, Kairi would have been told. There wasn't even the slightest possibility that she would be kept clueless. He thought he had made it clear enough to Riku that he needed _time_ before that moment. What the two of them had at the moment was a flurry of passion and emotions. Until a real, stable relationship was established; there was no reason to let the world know. He had wanted all three of them to be together, in the same room, when she found out.

He bite his lip for the millionth time that night as his entire image of Riku was flipped around right before his eyes. He had thought Riku had understood how important this was, had trusted him to keep it close to his heart.

Even when they were just friends, he had long ago accepted Riku's obvious over-protectiveness, he had accepted all his flaws, large and small, because he had loved him.

To his dismay, he found his trust in Riku slipping slightly.

How could he?

Dimly, he realised Riku was still talking, clumsily trying to make up for his slip-up.

"Please don't be to mad. I can see why you would be, I know I would be _furious _but-"

Sora cut him off angrily, "I barely ever, ever, get mad at you," He began, a thousand ways of stating his current thoughts floating around in his mind. Deciding that they were all to long, and he didn't have the patience for such things at the moment, he chose to sum it up with one uncharacteristic statement-

"What the _hell_, Riku?"

Riku gazed down at his feet, properly ashamed, trying to control his over-active emotions. "I know you didn't want her to find out yet, but it just sorta slipped... and just look at in from my perspective for a second." He pleaded.

"You see me as selfish because I want to be with you, no matter what. I see you as selfish because you want the same thing, but you refuse to tell Kairi. I told her, and I thought about lying to you about it, but you might as well know. I believe you when you say you were doing it for the right reasons, but they were also the wrong ones. "

Things would only be made worse if they hide, as Sora had wanted. He had so much faith in the redheaded girl; he wasn't scared of her reaction. He wasn't insensitive; he knew Kairi would be hurt no matter what happened. Finding out your destiny wasn't going to be fulfilled would do that to anyone. Hiding it from her, letting her continue to think everything was still normal, that was would only cause her more unnecessary pain. Knowing the two most important people in her life kept something so massive would only add to any other emotion she would have.

In a few words, it would make things worse.

He explained this to Sora, trying as hard as possible to put every word in the right place, making sure every sentence and thought connected properly. He finished, still wishing bitterly that they weren't in this situation.

Sora remained quiet for a few minutes, mulling over his words. "You could have just told me that earlier and saved us from this fight, you know that right?"

Slowly, Riku nodded, unable to debate that point.

"You're right, I'll give you that. We've been through a lot together, but I won't lie when I say you've caused me more pain then I expected. I searched for you forever, Riku, and you were always right in front of me, but I didn't know. You have no clue how scared I was that I would never find you. But you were right there, all along, watching me feel that pain."

Opening old wounds was not an appropriate thing to do at the moment. On any other day, Sora would have recognised this. On any other day, he would have been able to control himself. This was Riku, however, and he couldn't hold back what he was feeling. In the heat of the moment, he felt the mask he had built to hide these negative things crumbling to nothing.

"I know you have your reasons, and I think I understand them. I've forgiven you for so much, all because I love you. I guess it's because I've always trusted you. You were right, I should have told Kairi right away. The point is- how can I trust you now? You...I'm really disappointed in you. You basically betrayed me."

_'It's to late to just go back to normal now, isn't it?'_

Riku shrugged in defeat, a soft sheet of silvery hair flopping uselessly over one emerald eye. His shoulders slumped and he made no move to push it out of his view. For a split second, not for the first time today, Sora could swear he saw Riku's lips tremble. This time however, he felt his own duplicate the motion, and slowly, one by one, tears formed in his eyes. Delicately, they slid down his cheeks, his breath shortening gradually as he tried to control himself.

"I'm sorry, _I'm so sorry_."

Riku paused to bite his lip, furious with himself for being so close to tears. Earlier, a part of him hoped to Sora would feel to guilty to fight if he saw him cry. Now he knew it wouldn't matter; the younger boy was probably too angry, to injured, to notice anything.

This scared him. He didn't want to lose Sora for he was undeniably in love, so much so that it hurt. Riku was a man of dignity, of independence, with stubborn opinions and an even stronger mind. This part of him wanted to defend himself, to not be ashamed of what he had done, because it had all been for the right reasons. That was what mattered in the end. That was what kept him strong, kept him from simply breaking down and begging for forgiveness on hands and knees.

He would never be that pathetic.

"I made a mistake. I know that. Stop being so dramatic and get over it. I don't want to fight, but at least I was _honest _with you about this. Kairi had the right to know. Not telling her right away makes you nearly as selfish as I am. At least I told you. You didn't even tell me about your little conversation with Roxas."

Sora stared, open-mouthed. He had seen Riku be brutally honest before, but he had not expected this in the slightest. A sense of injustice glowered under the desperate pain that had formed his tears. Riku was turning this around so it was _his_ fault!

"I was going to. After I told Roxas."

"Ever think that maybe I would have liked to be a part of that decision? Did you think I couldn't help you with it?" Then, seeing where he was going with this, he changed direction before his words sounded too bitter. "I want to be there for you, Sora. I always want to be there for you, no matter what your problems."

"Well... this was just different, alright? You didn't tell me to tell you about Roxas."

Sora sighed in frustration. He felt personally attacked, as if Riku was trying to pick a fight. Yet at the same time, he could feel Riku trying to blow the whole thing over, brush it off and move on. Only once in his life had he ever wanted to understand, to _really_ understand Riku. As long as they had known each other, he still doubted he would even fully know what made his best friend tick. He was unpredictable, a literal enigma.

"Oh, I'm _sorry_. I didn't realise that was _different_. That's all right then. Forget I said anything." Riku's voice was drenched in sarcasm.

The tone of his voice not wasted on him, Sora glared at Riku, feeling his anger raising bit by bit.

"You know what? Just forget the whole thing. I'm to selfish to make it work anyway."

For a split second, time hung suspended as the two figures on the beach absorbed the words that had just been spoken. The speaker, realising he had vocalised his thoughts, remained still as he conscientiously began to believe they were true. The honesty of his words lodging firmly in his mind, he focused on the face of the other, morbidly curious to see his reaction. As his mind continued to race, he spoke once more.

"There. Problem solved. No more having to worry about Kairi or anything."

The blue eyes of the spiky-haired boy continued to shine with tears. "That's not funny."

Riku shrugged. "Wasn't trying to be. I made a mistake. It messed things up for you, so I'm sorry, but now you don't have to worry about it anymore."

He turned his back to Sora, studying the last splinters of sunlight on the horizon. "You can be with Kairi, and you can go with Roxas, and you can do whatever you want now. Nothing here tying you down."

Not waiting for a reply, he threw a casual, slightly tense, hand over his shoulder in goodbye and walked up the inclined beach toward the trees without looking back.

Looking back would have ruined his resolve.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---  
Sora felt his body flop down uselessly on the sand beneath him, felt the cool sand in his hair. Dimly, he was aware of Riku's retreating figure. Knew he was walking away... Even that, however, he could not focus on any more. Unable to do anything else at the moment, he stared blankly at the darkened sky far above him. His lips moved as he silently counted the stars appearing. His mind seemed to come to a temporary halt, and he could do nothing but stare until his eyes lost focus, and his tears formed faster, and the world blurred together in to nothing.

Exactly how long he stayed that way, looking but seeing nothing, he did not know. It seemed like a second and an eternity at the same time. If he had cared at the time, he would have known that it couldn't have been more then five minutes between the blank shock and the painful awareness. The night had not gotten any blacker by the time he became aware of his senses again. Riku was only a short distance away, hidden by the trees his was using to support his trembling body. Roxas was a distance down the beach, hidden by the night, waiting and watching.

The only thing Sora knew in that moment however, was that Riku was gone, and anything they had or might have had was severed by Riku's sudden words.

Vaguely, he found himself desperately hoping it had all just been some kind of terrible dream. A small part of him clutched on to the hope that he would wake up, shivering slightly from the nightmare, beads of sweat on his brow, to find himself curled close to Riku, the older boys thick muscled arms wrapped around him protectively. He would describe the terrors his unconscious mind have shown him, then Riku would lovingly promise him his fears were unfounded; for he would never even consider leaving Sora, now that they had found each other.

Along with that, several other thoughts fought amongst themselves for dominance. Riku was a mysterious man, and while he had been the one in the wrong, he had obviously felt justified to be angry. Surely, there was a reasonable explanation for the way he was acting. Surely, now that he was alone with his thoughts, Riku would come to regret the words spoken in the heat of anger. He would take them back, take Sora back.

With this in mind, Sora felt his heart lightening slightly. Riku had always forgiven Sora, the opposite applying to the key-blade wielder. Since childhood, no rift had ever been torn between them that was so big it was unrepairable. With luck, their newly romantic relationship would be no different.

But… what if this _was_ different? What if this time, Riku didn't come back, not necessarily for forgiveness, but because he just plain missed Sora?

What if he had been serious about giving Sora and Kairi their rightful destiny?

The small boy mourned this thought, along with his optimism of the situation, as he stared, enchanted at the sky above him. This was what he wanted. He didn't have to worry about being ashamed and he didn't have to hide. He could fulfill the Paopu's promise to Kairi.

He tried in vain to reassure himself that this way was better. Tried to forget about the dull aching pain in his heart by envisioning his future with Kairi.

Like a long forgotten memory, he found it hard to see. There was nothing without Riku. Nothing. Not anymore, not after this.

Longingly, his mind retraced the memories of the previous two days. Waking up from a dream whose details had slipped from his mind to find Riku. Waking up once again, this time on the shack, to find Riku. Their awkward first kiss, which caused a pale rose blush to spread over his cheeks. The day after that, the beach, and then…then what?

Telling Riku to hide their romance from Kairi, then wandering off alone, leaving them to talk. Wandering off alone, in to the forest.

Quickly, in one smooth, uninterrupted motion, Sora sat up, a sudden current of electricity running through his body.

_Roxas!_

His anger had caused him to forget what had begun the confrontation. Now calmed down slightly, Sora remembered the slight suspicion he had had of Roxas. He had wondered, without any real understanding of it, if Roxas had planned to make them fight. There was no other clear reason as to why he would tell Riku Sora was going to go find Axel.

At the time, he had passed if off as mere wishful thinking. A vague push that he hoped would convince Sora to come.

"Had he wanted us to fight, all along?" Sora mulled over these spoken words, not immune to the loneliness that they carried in the vast night. Pieces of Roxas' plan began to weld together. He couldn't be certain, be he was pretty sure he knew what the plot had been.

With Sora distraught, heartbroken, and desperate to get away from his problems, the dark blonde nobody had a ready-made escape from Destiny Island.

The worst part, and the true hidden genius of the plan was that it was effective. Already, even knowing it had been set up from the beginning, he found himself tempted.

It was, in large part, thanks to Roxas that the two had fought.

In comparison to the rest of it, that hardly mattered. Stood next to Kairi's knowledge and Rikus' general anger, it was temping to just run away from his problems. Under normal circumstances, this was entirely against the youth's principles. Running never solved anything.

Except…

Sora lazily played with the sand, grasping a handful and watching it run through his fingers like a crude hourglass.

In the several days it would take to either find Axel or give up, it was possible Riku would have cooled down. If Sora stayed, there would be tense confrontations, words would be said without serious consideration or meaning thrown behind him.

Really, the genius of the Nobody's scheme was that it was going to work.

Authors Note: Three things for you this time, bear with me.

This chapter had been sitting on the computer for roughly a week and a half, unfinished. Basically because I didn't (and I'm still not sure I do…) have the brainpower (and I've been busy as hell…) to write something of this calibre. I'm not lying when I tell you these last to chapters have been insanely hard to write. I have a feeling I'm not getting the point, or the emotion, across completely…. Again, I'm not sure if it's paranoia or honest truth. Either or, it's your decision, after all.

Second, I now have a computer in to my room, thanks to a generous donation by one of my friends, (Win '95, YAY! xD) Which means that I will probably be updating at least a little more frequently, now that I don't have to write on the one in my brothers room, or my parents. This is a good thing. Although I am working on another story with said friend, and I have to put some time in to that.

Third, and I probably should have put this first…. I have a need to change the name of this story. Not a trifling, passing need, either. I just don't like it. I've never really been too fond of, honestly. So, I humbly ask you for your suggestions, since I'm quite uncreative. There will be credit and love given where it is due.

That's all. Reviews would be appreciated alot, but I'm sure you knew that.

_Yavi.  
XOXO_


	9. Chapter Eight Point Five

Chapter Eight Point Five

He was falling.

He could tell he was because of the wind screaming at his face.

Yet he could hear nothing, see nothing, taste nothing, and sense nothing else. His entire body felt numbed and drugged. This scared him. All of his sense seemed to have been relieved of him. How was this possible?

With a remarkable amount of effort, he forced his fatigue-leaden eyelids open. Instantly, he concluded that he had gone blind. There was no other possible explanation for the complete blackness the surrounded him. No walls could be seen. He twisted his neck to look upward. The pinpoint of light that should have signified the opening he had evidently fallen in to was not present. The darkness engulfed him. Even if he wasn't, he may as well have been blind.

He closed his eyes for a second, immediately felt dizzy, and re-opened them to the blackness around him. Slightly panicked, he tried to recall how he had gotten there and found he could not even remember his own name. He searched his broken mind for a way out of the situation, finding none. How long had he been falling before he had noticed?

Why had he lost the ability to even scream?

His thin body was spread out as it endlessly fell, as if he was flying. He flailed slightly, twisting and turning in the vain hope that it would somehow stop this. His pale hands stretched out uselessly, trying to grasp anything to stop the downward momentum.

He found nothing.

Furthermore, why had he only now become aware of his surroundings? His breath caught in his throat. He couldn't remember anything before this.

The pressure of his problem pushing it's way in to his brain, he began to feel his mind beginning to work once more, his thoughts spinning off in every direction.

No. He stopped for a second, thinking hard. He_ could _remembersomething. A vague voice, speaking calmly, in resignation. He had no memory of the words, but maybe it had been his voice speaking. It must have something to do with this whole situation.

_Think. _

Straining to recall anything else, he found himself distracted by the apparent endlessness of the pit around him. Although really, there was nothing to indicate that it _was_ a pit. He could have been falling in outer space, but the lack of stars or other heavenly bodies told him that was not so.

The silence pressed around his useless ears, unnerving him. The boy could feel his accelerated heartbeat pressing against his chest. Yet, he could not hear the heavy breaths that should have accompanied it. Despite having no memory of a life before this, he knew that he had never been in such a complete silence. The sensation of knowing, but not remembering, or knowing why he had this knowledge, was mind numbing.

Was he deaf as well as blind?

So dimly that he could not be sure it wasn't his imagination, he thought he heard the wind in his ears, flapping his coat as it flew up behind him.

As if on cue, the sound of his labored breathing rushed to his ears, simultaneous with two harsh choked words. The speaker of the short sentence had a muted, genderless voice. The cause could have been the obvious pain the speaker was in. It broke up the short words, as if the effort of communicating was fatal.

"I'm… de-dead"

The sudden re-appearance of one of his sense caused him to look around rather more wildly then he would have in another situation. Who had said that? Someone was with him! Vainly, his eyes combed the darkness, trying to find the outline of the figure that had to be there. His small ears, believing there was someone accompanying his fall, invented the faint sound of struggled breathing.

Then he realized, quite suddenly, that he himself had spoken. That pathetic voice had been his. His hopes crashed to the ground. In the state he was in, he would have welcomed anyone, even if they were ill intentioned. He was truly alone in this featureless place.

Inside his head, his brain was working rapidly to reinstate the sense that it had temporarily shut down. The pain sensors in his body flicked back on, causing him to nearly double over, mid-air, with the sudden injuries it brought back. The utter defeat he felt shut down every other thought for a moment. Once again, he was aware that he had never felt so worn out, so beaten up before. He had exhausted ever muscle in his build, strained them all to the point where they could no longer support him.

If he hadn't been falling, he would have crumpled to the ground in a dead faint.

As it was, the air around him supporting his over-used body, he stayed agonizingly aware.

The sharp smell of ashes and something unidentifiable assaulted his re-awakening sense next. The aroma was so vivid that he caught himself looking around calmly for a fire. Something about the smell brought back memories, telling him that there was no fire here, that it was simply a thing of the past.

_Probably the last thing I ever smelt…_ The depressing notion was in his head before he could shake it away.

"That's just stupid." His voice was monotonous, edged with sharp disbelief.

Stubbornly, he convinced himself he wasn't dead. There were several reasons he couldn't be. There was someone he had set out to find. He hadn't succeeded yet. Until he did, he would never die. His mind was made up, and until he learned of what had happened to this person- whoever he or she was-, he damn well better be immortal. There was no way he would leave this earth without saying at least goodbye.

Besides, what kind of after life was this? As far as he had seen, it was just a constant, endless fall.

There was no way that this was all that was on the other side. No one in there right mind would be comforted if this were all that lay in the great beyond.

He nodded reassuringly. He wasn't dead, not by a long shot.

So why was he still slicing through the air? There was ground below him, masked by the gloom. He groaned at that. No doubt, if he weren't already dead, the end of this free fall would fix that. What a pathetic way to go.

_There were Heartless. An overwhelming, awe-inspiring number of them. There was no possible way of stopping their oncoming swarm. As one, the black mass pressed forward, sensing the living soul in front of them. Hungrily, the dark shadows advanced. He could see it in the others eyes, knew they shared the same thought. They were both going to die here, him and the brunette youth beside him. There was no way out… unless he took drastic measures._

The plummeting boy halted mid-thought, surprised at the sudden recollection. Then, scared that he would forget again, he desperately clung to it, struggling to evoke the rest, squeezing his eyes tightly shut.

_He swung around wildly, feeling his energy dropping with every blow. Sweat formed on his brow, inhaling in short, gasping breathes. All at once, his weapons stopped making contact, slicing through the air lamely. He ceased, surprised to find he had destroyed the entire army of Heartless. His eyes fell on the shoes of the younger boy, followed them up to the stunned look that now covered his face. Seeing this, he smiled before looking at his own hand._

_His entire limb was gradually becoming translucent. Just as he had expected it to. After all, when one put their whole being in to a single attack, anything better would be wishful, foolish thinking._ _Unable to support himself anymore, he allowed his legs to fail beneath him, and he fell to the ground._

'At least he'll live….'

_He smiled up at the now sobbing boy above him, wanting to assure him that everything would work out in the end, but no longer able to open his mouth._

_His slim form shimmered as it faded to nothing. He closed his eyes; glad that he would be nothing before the tears forming in his eyes had found their way down his cheeks. Rapidly, the tears began to form. He would never get a chance to confess his innermost thoughts to _him. _He would never get to say he forgave him. _He _would never know. _

_In his last moments, drowsy and overcome with sadness, the brunette about him was transformed. His dark hair lightened, his facial features rearranged themselves ever so slightly. The pain in his eyes was magnified a million times with the sudden change. The blonde above him was someone different then the boy he had fought with. It was _him_. He understood then, that he had been right about the brunette boy. The reasonless attachment he had felt was made clear._

_Even if he never said goodbye, he had gotten to see _him _one last time. _

_And that was all he had ever really wanted. _

He remembered. Slightly amused at the clichéd way the holes had filled, the boy sighed forlornly.

Eyes flying open, he looked downward. He blinked once, twice, sure that he was seeing things. The darkness was getting _lighter_ below him. A small patch of grey had appeared, sticking out like a stain. It was almost as if…

His breath caught his throat as he choked on panic.

His fall was about to end.

Trying to stop it, he did the only thing he could and snapped his eyes shut once more. Willing his inability to see the ground to somehow perform a miracle.

The wind stopped howling in his ears, he flapping coat fell suddenly down, wrapping itself around his body, the wind taken out of it's sails.

Had he gotten his miracle?

Cautiously, hardly daring to believe that he had somehow been transported away from certain death, he pried one eye open just enough to see a sliver of his surroundings. He let out a surprised, unbridled gasp of astonishment. Instead of the wall of gloom he had previously found himself looking at, there were _features_ to his surroundings. There were _colours!_

He laughed triumphantly has he pushed himself up off the dirt with gloved hands.

He had regained consciousness. He wasn't dead. He didn't quite know where he was, but he had a good idea. He knew his name. It took every once of will in his body, aching and pained as it was, to stop himself from breaking into a dance on the spot. He was still weak, and it would be a step in the wrong direction to break a leg now.

He wiped a tear away as it rolled from the corner of his green eye. He had another chance. Another chance…

Without knowing so, he spoke the name that had popped in to his head the second he had awoken.

"Roxas…"

_A/N: Okay, so I bet you're wondering –8.5? What the hell? - I kind of am to. I meant for this to be a full-length chapter, but it's barely 4 pages, so it's not long enough for me to pass of as a chapter. It's not even 2,000 words. It's 1:00 in the morning. I just want to post something to get things moving. I figured we needed a change of scenery. Was this terrible? I'm sorry if it was…_

_But I promise you a real chapter soon enough, now that things are starting to move and I'm past a difficult part… I've been busy writing something else as well, to take my mind of the angst of this…_

_Still trying to decide on a new name…I've got a vague-ish idea... but I'm still open to suggestions. 3_

_Anyway, hope you enjoyed the show, and I'll see you next chapter, hopefully!_


End file.
